journey to eden

i don't want my kids to be happy......

2010-03-18T14:47:00.005-06:00

this is a repost from another blog and i LOVE it!! this is for all my fellow NON college-savings account moms....

Dear Eden and Haan:

Recently we were told by people whom we love and respect why they oppose our plans to adopt. One of the reasons given was that we would not be able to pay for your college education.

It's true.

You all have college funds - college funds which recently took a terrible hit - but "they" say that by the time you're 18, college will cost anywhere between $200,000 to half a million dollars each. You might as well know now, we won't be covering that. I'm telling you now, babies.

The people said that the day would come when you would look at us with resentment because you had to apply for school loans while many of your friends got a free ride from their parents.

Maybe you will. Maybe you'll resent us. I really hope not. But maybe I should tell y'all now why your dad and I have decided to do what we are doing.

I know you're going to think I am going off topic (I do that a lot) but several years I saw a story on a TV show about how the latest trend was for parents to give their daughters boob jobs for high school graduation (I don't know what they gave their sons.) When interviewing one of the moms, she said, "I just want my daughter to be happy." And as I tossed a throw pillow at the television, this really huge thought occurred to me: I don't want my children to be happy.

My goal as your mom is not your happiness, sugars. In fact, I spend at least half my day making you unhappy. If I had a nickle for every tear that falls in this home on a daily basis, we wouldn't need to worry about college tuition at all.

Happiness is fleeting, sweet babies. That means it doesn't last. It's a quick feeling that comes from a funny movie or a heart shaped lollipop or a really good birthday present. It's great. I love to be happy. But happiness is a reaction that is based on our surroundings. And our surroundings are so very rarely under our control. Even when - especially when - we think they are. So no, I absolutely don't want you to spend your life chasing something that has so little to do with your own abilities. You'll just be constantly frustrated.

There are two things I desire for you, precious loves. There are two things that I spend most of my time as a mother trying cultivate in you. Happiness ain't one of them. (This means, sorry, no boob jobs for you.)

The first is, I want you to be content. Being content is so much different from being happy. Being content is not based on your surroundings. Being content comes from within. Contentment is a spirit of gratitude. It's the choice you make to either be thankful for the things you do have, or to whine about the things you don't have.

Being content and grateful leads to consistent joy.

As you know, because I've told you lots of times, Paul talked about being content. Paul said that he had "learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." And Paul was in some rotten situations, kiddos, really rotten.

How could Paul be content whether he was in prison or if his life was literally a shipwreck? Because Paul was constantly seeking to be in the will of God instead of his own, was constantly sacrificing his own comfort for the sake of the gospel, and was constantly being confirmed, strengthened, and blessed by God because of his obedience. He was given a supernatural power - that means something kind of like magic, God magic - to do things that most other humans could not do. And guess what? The bible tells us (in Ephesians 1) that God will give you the exact same power! If you want it!

Which leads me to my second desire for y'all.

I don't want you to be happy. I want you to be holy. That means, I want you to seek that God-power to make you content. I want you to want the Kingdom of God more than your own kingdom. And that's hard, babies, that is so hard. And that usually means passing up a lot of what the world considers happiness. But it means that you will achieve blessings directly from God that most of the world never dreams of because they are too occupied with the achieving the perfect birthday present!

This means you may be poor, 'in want' as Paul said, and that's okay. It will never, ever be okay with the world for you to be poor. So you'll be up against the world. But not your dad and me, loves, because it was never our goal for you to be wealthy - at least not in the way that the world considers wealthy.

Darlings, we love you so much. You will never even grasp how much we love you until you have children of your own, and then you'll get it, and then you'll apologize for the ways you treated us ;) But our goal is not to please you. Our goal is to please our Heavenly Father. And nowhere in the bible does the Lord command that we save our money to send our kids to college.

But the Lord does command us to care for the orphan around fifty times. He does tell us to care for the poor around 300 times. He does tell us that when we care for the neediest, we are caring for Jesus Himself. And in chapter six of the book of Matthew, He tells us to seek His kingdom first, and let Him worry about the rest, like college tuition. Because it's all His anyway.

They said that one day y'all would resent us for using 'your' college money to go and get your sister out of an orphanage in Ethiopia and bring her home to you.

But I know my babies. Even at your tender ages, I know your hearts, and I have already seen you weep for the least of these. I know the prayers I offer up to God that He and not the world would shape the desires of your hearts. I am trusting Him to answer those prayers.

So, sugarbears - I just don't believe those people.

Love,
Mommy

let's do something POSITIVE (HIV positive, that is...)

2010-03-15T12:29:00.005-06:00

well, i am back (after an extended abscence). let's see, in the meantime, E has turned 2 and is doing great. i will try to get some recent sweet potato pics up in the next post...

last weekend, i went to Atlanta with my dear friend Carolyn. we had a great being together and weekend strategizing for Project Hopeful!!!

i wanted to use this post to share a couple of small ways YOU can make a difference in the life of an HIV+child in Ethiopia. here are my favorite things lately. i have been rocking them all the time and know you'll love sporting them too! the first tee is from 147millionorphans and half the proceeds to directly to Project Hopeful. it has a great fit and is a tissue tee. the first photo is of the back and the last two are of the front. you will love it!

this is one of the Project Hopeful tees (front below and back above)

i have both of these necklaces. the bottom one also comes on black leather and you can purchase them here.

lastly, i wanted to let you all know about the NCAA bracketology contest that also benefits Project Hopeful. please pass this along on your blogs, facebook, or wherever. just copy and paste the info because the more people that play, the more orphans we help!

here's how it works: YOUR purchase (10 dollars people) will help set an HIV+orphan into a permanent and loving family--restoring HOPE to the HOPELESS!!!

Donation: $10 per bracket. multiple entries accepted....the more brackets you enter...the more orphans you help!

Overall Winner gets a TEAM 147 Kit

Each Age Group Winner gets a Team 146 shirt or sweatshirt of their choice.

Age groups are:

Boys pre-K to Grade 5, Girls Pre-K to 5th, Boys Middle School, Girls Middle School, Boys High School, Girls High School, Men 18 & over, Women 18 & over.

Fun for the WHOLE family...let each member play and benefit an HIV+orphan!

CONTEST DIRECTIONS:

1. Fill out your bracket--print any bracket online or click the below www.ncaa.com/brackets/basketball/men/

2. Send a copy of your bracket to Team 147 Bracketology Commisioner. Be sure to include: name, age group, contact info., AND tie break: final score of Nat'l Championship Game. Send to jenny@myeliteloans.com or efax to 615.296.9696 or mail to Team 147 Bracketology c/o Jenny Williford 300 Upper Mill Drive Cane Ridge, TN 37013.

3. Pay the Fee via paypal or mail check to same address ($10 per entry). Paypal: http://www.147millionorphans.blogspot.com/

ALL Brackets and Fees must be received or postmarked by March 18th--so ACT FAST!

This contest will follow the rules of the ESPN Tournament Challenge. For complete rules, go to www.games.espn.go.com/tcmen/en/story?pageName=tcmen/rules

Copy and Paste this to everyone you know. The more that play, the more orphans gettin' some lovin'!!!!

managed to upload these

2009-12-22T14:20:00.002-07:00

and these

2009-12-14T14:08:00.001-07:00

does anybody even read this anymore?

2009-12-12T13:11:00.005-07:00

i did promise myself that i would post at least a couple times per month--not sure what happened there....... since the last post, let's see, what has transpired?

well, E turned 22 and now 23 months old!! i am getting seriously sad that she is almost 2 years old (she turns 2 next week). it has gone so much faster than i ever wanted it to. i just wish i could freeze time. both of my kiddos have january birthdays. haan will be 7 and E will be 2 all within 9 days of each other. they are getting to be quite the pair--very good buddies as long as haan does EXACTLY what E tells him to do (which he almost always does).

also, since my last post, i made another trip back to ethiopia. it was a very quick one (by my standards--only one week instead of my usual 3 or 7 weeks!), but a great trip in many respects. we got to to check on the orphanage that our church is sponsoring, had some meetings, and visited all the orphanages that our adoption agency works with.

of course it is always difficult for me to readjust home after being in ET, but especially so during the holiday season. don't get me wrong--i LOVE to get and GIVE gifts and i fully intend on doing both :) i also don't think you need to live like a pauper to change the world. kirk and i try to live a simple life--that is not to say that we don't enjoy blessings that we know 90% of the world doesn't enjoy--such as having an actual house (along with another "house" called a garage to park our car in) and multiple other blessings. this year as we think about simplifying, i am challenging myself not only to simplify my material possessions, but some of the other "clutter" that life throws my way. it comes in different forms for every person.

recently, in yoga class, the instructor read us some of the "essential yoga sutra" on attachment to distraction. here is a little bit that i wanted to share:

"it is our destiny, each one of us, to save the world. yes, we can, and we will. depp insdie of us we know this is what we want to do, and why we came to this world in the first place. on some level we dream of this all the time;it is why almost al the novels and movies created by our culture have a heroine or hero who saves the day. because we ourselves want to. we need to.

and so we step onto the first of the five paths. it's called the path of accumulation-piling up enought goodness, enought power, to change ourselves and our world. we take this step by deciding that we can no longer bear the pain all around us.

now we will no longer have any time for the meaningless distractions of life--we must simplify our lives, concentrate on what's really important. no more time to only work and eat and sleep, and die-no more time to waste on newspapers and television to hear about how others wasted their time."

i have tried to upload new photos, but for some reason blogger isn't letting me do it.... (i will keep trying).
love to you all this coming year (if you are still sticking around to read my infrequent posts)

21 months (and t-shirt giveaway)

2009-10-05T13:15:00.007-06:00

i know. a month since my last post. that has got to beat some sort of lame blogger record. E will be 21 months tomorrow.... it makes me a little sad how fast time has gone since she came home. tomorrow her early childhood intervention specialist is coming to discharge her as she no longer qualifies for services. she has caught up developmentally and is actually at almost 3 years in some areas (what can i say the girl is SMART).

one thing that has remained exactly the same since the day we laid eyes on her in ethiopia is the "finger suck." she sucks her right pointer finger to the point where it looks waterlogged all the time. she has to suck on it to fall asleep, while she is asleep, and will continue to do so until we get her out of her crib in the morning or after nap. i guess at the orphanage, she sucked her big toe until she sucked her toenail completely off (it is gone to this day--don't think it is coming back....) so they taped a sock on her foot and then she switched to the finger....

here are some pics of the infamous finger and one from Ethiopia last summer also highlighting the finger suck....

the ethiopia finger suck-sooo cute

the water logged finger--close up....

on an unrelated note: who wants to win this project hopeful t-shirt? you can!

just guess where i am going in november and leave your guess in the comments section. the first person to correctly guess will be getting this in the size of their choice!

20 months

2009-09-07T13:33:00.004-06:00

seriously. what can i say? if you are still reading this, thank you! i have been a terrible blogger this summer, but will try to be better now that school has started...

anyway, our ethiopian sweet potato is now 20 months old (yesterday)!! she is still so full of life and spunk and very much still a tiny diva. she is still talking up a storm. her most "signature" lines are commands, with some of the favorites (and most charming) ones being:

"mama (or daddy, or haan) , sit down!!"

"don't DO that"

"gimme that"

"I do it"

she is also OBSESSED with "Barney." i am not quite sure how this happened as haan managed to go an entire 6 years without watching an episode, but somehow she saw it and now demands to watch it anytime we are in the car. i caved and bought like 6 "Barney" DVD's. i know, i know.... the rules are seriously different for the sweet potatoe...

in other news, haan started FIRST GRADE (you never think your child will really be that old) and seems to be loving it. he is also doing tennis, soccer, and piano this fall. E and i will be starting our toddler music classes together in about a week, so that should be interesting, as well.... we have been trying to get out every weekend and do some hiking so that we can instill our love for it into haan, and so far, so good. these pics are from yesterday's hike (which was also E's 20 month birthday). PLEASE ignore the hair. the weekend was nuts and somehow we went like 2 days without combing or conditioning her hair and she looks like a mad (totally cute) scientist.

homecoming anniversary

2009-08-08T13:30:00.004-06:00

one year ago TODAY, i arrived home with baby E after an almost 7 week trip to ET!!!!

the ordeal from last summer almost seems surreal to think about. fortunately, i met one of my dearest friends/fellow orphan junky/partner in crime from the trip and also got to bring home the sweetest baby girl. she is such a treasure to us!

this year has blown by for me. i have lots of exciting things in store for the next year to come too (stay tuned)...

if you haven't had a chance to enter the quilt raflle, please go below and "donate"!!! we are over halfway to our goal of building fence for the "almost homes" for HIV positive children. your donation is tax deductible!!!! you can make a difference for HIV+ widows and children!

"this world is too dangerous to live in-not because of the people who do evil, but because of the people who sit and let it happen."
Albert Einstein

quilt raffle!!!

2009-07-25T15:35:00.006-06:00

DRAWING AUGUST 15!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL proceeds to go toward the fence for Covenant Village/ALMOST HOMES (see post below)....

Tickets are $5.00.

This was made by Chanda Skelton and her Mom-in-Law Peggy specifically to raise funds for Project HOPEFUL!! It is BEAUTIFUL! Perfect wall hanging size...VERY AFRICA....
Please feel free to share this raffle with EVERYONE....Lets get this fence UP!!!!
I have ANOTHER one after this one!!

PLEASE help us raise this fence...to RAISE a village... If you would like more information about the vision for this village e mail me at Barkleysmom@gmail.com or Carolyn at carolyn@projecthopeful.org

....to be blunt...we NEED the funding . We need help...JOIN US...to any capacity...WE WELCOME YOU and WE NEED YOU!! Let this just be the beginning!!!

It is GREAT that so many of us are adopting or have adopted...BUT....HELP US help the children left behind....HELP US to help the women PRAYING that WE MOVE on behalf of them and their kids....HELP US SHIFT PARADIGMS!!!!
PUUUUUULEASE!!!!!

lately...

2009-07-21T13:48:00.004-06:00

i know that i have been a bad blogger lately.

july has been a whirlwind, and i have been super busy (see post below).

haan has been taking simming and tennis lessons for most of the summer and is doing great at both! E is 18 months old now--running and climbing everywhere and talking like crazy. the only thing she is not still doing is eating.... here are some recent photos to make up for my bad blogging behaviour...

pajama time

fireworks on the fourth in red lodge

all aboard "thomas the train"--their first train ride

my soon-to-be first grader...

another one to watch...

2009-07-01T13:13:00.000-06:00

The Global Orphan Project from The Global Orphan Project on Vimeo.

magazine article

2009-06-28T12:30:00.003-06:00

so i forgot to mention this back in may which was when it was published. (kind of busy at the time), but our local "simply family" magazine did a little mother's day feature on the kids and i.

here is a link if you want to read it. click on the arrow to page 8....

gotcha confessional

2009-06-26T12:32:00.008-06:00

one year ago today, we met our ethiopian sweet potatoe for the first time. if you remember the story (see posts from last june) this was to be a 10 day visit that turned into a 7 week marathon for me.... (so worth it in in the end).

this is the day we met our baby (remember the diagnosis"failure to thrive?") who wouldn't sit, roll, make eye contact, smile, or bear any weight--the one who had given up on life! God has been so gracious to her and to us by allowing us to call her our own. this journey has been so full of heartache, was very often excruciating, overwhelming. and terribly uncomfortable at times, but i can't imagine our life without her which is ironic because man, was i ever full of excuses as to WHY we could NOT do this. thinking about that day brought me back to why we decided to adopt in the first place....

i have had lots of conversations about adoption lately…. what saddens me the most are the EXCUSES I hear from people (and i continue to include MYSELF in this category) about WHY it is not possible for them to adopt (or help in any way):
"well, we couldn't afford all the sports and lessons and activites for all the kids"
"we won't have enough money for college for all of our kids"
"we wouldn't have an emergency fund or savings account anymore"
"we couldn't buy our dream house or dream car or dream vacation"
"i don't have enough time for the kids i have--or i don't have time for myself"

--i KNOW these excuses because i have used them (and still try to get away with using them at times)!!!!
i KNOW what is like to try to make an ethiopian orphan perfectly fit into your life--it DOESN'T work like that!
it isn't perfect! we need to stop coming up with the perfect criteria prior to letting God control our lives. again, i am guilty! i had my own plans about my life/our life, and this wasn't in them. i certainly invisioned that we would have a savings account. i envisioned a bigger, nicer home and newer cars, and actually taking a vacation now and then. i envisioned lots of things, but God had something BIGGER, NICER, AND BETTER for me although it doesn't always seem that way to me and i have to be REMINDED of it occasionally (thanks, mom).

i still at times wish i could fill my life up with other stuff so i wouldn't have to think about the problems in sub-saharan africa, but God won't let me!

Carolyn had a great post recently where she questioned the “extra-curricular” activites that we fill our lives (and childrens’ lives with). They are just that: EXTRA (not necessary). Listen up! I am GUILTY as charged. I try to cram so much junk into every day.

Here is Carolyn’s take:

We can sleep at night, Thank God for a great day... because we made it to our MOPS meeting and got junior to all of his extra curricular activities...baked cookies, finished laundry...scrapbooked the birthday party that took 6 months to plan...went to bible study...trying to be "green"....went to church... etc...etc...etc...Looks great doesn't it??? YET...our Christian sisters are dying...BEGGING us in prayer and tears to take care of their babies they will inevitably leave behind after they endure excruciating deaths....the majority go UNHEARD....."SORRY sisters...our plates are TOO FULL.... Sorry kids...YOU are just not a fit for us...You know...financially, you couldn't have your own room,...uuum..soccer practice...here in the US, appearance is everything..you don't quite fit in our "SCRAPBOOK", plus you may have AIDS, I can't go there...no time for whatever you may require.....OUR PLATES are too full........SO FULL...that the pure religion...orphans and widows are scraped off the plates to fall to the floor...I don't know what that means in everyone elses house, but in mine...the dog eats what falls to the floor......Is that what we have done to THE PURE AND FAULTLESS RELIGION?...to widows and children???? Does that at all resemble your days? Just something to think about.

yes, it is going to require sacrifice.
no, it is not super easy, effortless, or painless
no, it is not free--it comes at a cost. that is the thing about living sacrificially....
no, it is not always pretty (AIDS and orphans sometimes aren’t always that pretty). no, this life is not your own. why do we expend so much time, energy, and money convincing ourselves that it is?

thanks for listening to me unleash! here a couple photos from our first day together.

with nana

mommy and papa

a couple things you NEED to know

2009-06-20T12:25:00.003-06:00

okay, so i am gradually getting back into the swing of things. of course you all know that i don't totally ever want to get fully into the swing of things--don't want to be content.... i am so getting more comfortable being uncomfortable! i actually long for the discomfort and discontent these days. my trip was remarkable in that i got to see the children again, was able to make some precious new friends (you KNOW who you are).

i have lots of things that have been keeping me busy--mostly all ethiopia related (i will give you details when i have them).

my buddy carolyn and i have some cool ideas in the works too, so if you get a chance, make a donation to project hopeful!

my last couple of plugs are these:

several months ago, i preordered "scared" from amazon, and it was waiting for me when i returned from ET! you must drop what you are doing, go get this book, and read it!

also waiting for me when i got back was this bracelet.

order one here. for each bracelet you buy, we give a school uniform to an orphan or vulnerable child so they can go to school...

good stuff!

i will have an E update soon as my potato is now 17 months old! (it has been almost a year since we first met her). love her to pieces!

i'm baaaack....

2009-06-12T13:09:00.003-06:00

okay, so i returned last friday--exactly one week earlier than i originally planned.

i was gone for 3 weeks and they were glorious! truly another amazing trip to ET....

my kids (remember how freaked out i was about leaving them and all the people that told me i was making a mistake) did not miss a beat! they did beautifully! E gave me the cold shoulder for about 5 minutes and has been a doll ever since. haan has been super sweet.

needless to say, i have NO regrets about staying that long! the trip was fruitful, interesting, and i cannot wait to go back!

here is a link to my photos (you don't have to have facebook to see them)! more stories to come...

"it is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish" Mother Theresa

4 days...

2009-05-12T13:02:00.003-06:00

have i mentioned how much i am going to miss my babies? seriously! we leave at 7am on saturday morning and the days are just flying by. i want to press the "pause" button, if you know what i mean. at the same time, i am so anxious to return to ethiopia and start working on this project. it is gonna be amazing! i think i have kirk pretty well taken care of. i made a dinner for every night that i am gone (27 days total) and froze them (thanks, traci for the freezer space), have a great lady coming to clean once per week (a luxury), someone to mow, and lots of babysitting line up. kirk will be taking almost 2 of the weeks off work so that will help too!

here are some little treasures from the past couple of weeks. eden turned 16 months old last week and is talking up a storm--putting 2 words together and vocabularay that doesn't end. i have the habit of saying "seriously" ALOT and guess what sweet potato has been saying? not to mention, when you ask her what her name is, she has the sweetest voice that says "eden." she is SERIOUSLY adorable!! we are in love!
one of these days i am going to take a video of her talking...
my precious boy has been busy almost every night with both tee-ball and soccer.

video, tee, super cool jewelry

2009-05-11T12:24:00.004-06:00

i know some of you have heard me talk about my friend, Carolyn .

i had the priviledge of staying at the same guest house with her and her daughter for a couple weeks in ET last summer. i can testify firsthand to the transformation that has taken place in her daughter, Selah. she was in Stage IV AIDS when we were at the guest house. she is now home, with Carolyn and under the care of spectacular doctors and is NOT the same girl!

please take 3 minutes and watch this

Carolyn runs Project Hopeful (which you also have heard my talk about but it needs repeating). even 5 dollars will help. PLUS, you NEED to check out their super cool new tees and jewelry.

i know i have posted these photos before as well, but just love them. they are of carolyn's daughter with my sweet potato last summer....
really, people we need to ACT. we need to support these kids--they truly are "the least of these"--the "untouchables". who else is going to do it, if you don't? just buy a tee shirt, some jewelry, make a cash donation--these kids have no other hope!!! what say you?

world AIDS orphans day

2009-05-06T16:42:00.004-06:00

hey everybody! tomorrow is world AIDS orphan day! check out the link.

here is what YOU can do:

-first, read this:

"World AIDS Orphans Day is a grassroots campaign to draw attention to and advocate on behalf of the millions of children orphaned by AIDS.

Here are some of the staggering facts. Please read them... please really stop and think a minute about these statistics.

There are over 15 million children orphaned by AIDS living around the world RIGHT NOW. 15 million is the equivalent to the number of all of the people living in New York, Paris, and Bangkok combined. That is an awful lot of children.

Well over 12 million AIDS orphans live in Sub-Saharan Africa, alone.

Experts believe that millions more orphans remain unaccounted for in India, China and Russia.
At least 10 million more children will be orphans by AIDS by 2010.

Do you know how many TOTAL global confirmed cases of the swine flu there have been? As of today (May 6), there have been 1,516 cases. Do you know how many people, world wide, have died of the swine flu as of today?? 31. And look at all the hype... all the action... all the caring.
Do you know how many people around the world DIED of HIV/AIDS in 2007? An estimated TWO MILLION people. That is over 5,400 people a day, dieing of HIV/AIDS. It has been estimated that now, in 2009, 6,500 people will die every day from AIDS, and an estimated 6,000 of those people will leave behind children when they die.

So today, another 6,000 children will be added to the already 15 million children world wide who have been orphaned by the HIV/AIDS crisis.

The result of being orphaned by AIDS is heart-breaking for these children. From the World AIDS Orphans Day website:
In addition to the trauma of losing a parent, orphans are often subject to discrimination and are less likely to receive healthcare, education and other needed services.
In HIV affected households lacking community support, food consumption can drop by 40% putting children at risk to hunger, malnutrition and stunting.
Impoverished and often without support to educate and protect them, orphans and vulnerable children face increased risk of HIV infection. (And there are already an estimated 2 million children currently living with HIV).
Orphans are often easy prey to many forms of exploitation: forced labor, prostitution and child soldiering.
In the United States, if a child loses a parent to accident or illness, it is considered a terrible tragedy. Such stories are covered by the media, communities mourn and show their support, etc. In Sub-Saharan Africa, parents dieing is a normal part of life. It is still a terrible tragedy for those children, but it happens so often that no one else really pays any attention.
And do you know what makes this really, truly horrible? Do you know what makes my gut twist and my heart ache? HIV IS COMPLETELY TREATABLE.
If a person contracts HIV in the United States or another country where there is treatment readily available, they have an excellent long term prognosis. Most HIV+ people receiving treatment now have close to normal life expectancies and can live in good overall health. With treatment, HIV+ children can be healthy and happy. They can go to school, grow up, go to college, have (healthy!) children, and live long enough to raise them and beyond. Without treatment, an estimated 50% of HIV+ children will die before the hit their second birthday. HIV does not have to be a death sentence, and yet for thousands of people every day, it is, because the world doesn't care enough to really do something about it.
Can you imagine for one minute if some terrible disease struck the United States (or whatever country you live in) and was killing thousands and orphaning thousands every day? Can you imagine if another country had treatment that could lead to good health and a long life, but it just was too expensive or too difficult or too much trouble to get that medicine to us? We wouldn't stand for it.

So why do we stand for it now?

The numbers are staggering, and so is the need for action. Children are the future of our world, and I shudder to think about what this world will be like with so many millions of children growing up without the love and security of a family... and way too often growing up without adequate food, education and medical care. Where does that leave all of us?

Rich Stearns, President of World Vision, US said,
"I believe that this could very well be looked back on as the sin of our generation. I look at my parents and ask, where were they during the civil rights movement? I look at my grandparents and ask, what were they doing when the holocaust in Europe was occurring with regard to the Jews, and why didn't they speak up? And when we think of our great, great, great-grandparents, we think how could they have sat by and allowed slavery to exist? And I believe that our children and their children, 40 or 50 years from now, are going to ask me, what did you do while 40 million children became orphans in Africa?"
I know that it feels like the problem is way too big for us to really do anything to make a difference, but I know with all my heart that touching the life of just one, just ONE, child can truly make a difference. And if everyone touched the life of just one child, we could reach them all. "

- Get educated. One of the biggest roadblocks in getting people to care and take action is the stigma surrounding HIV/AIDS. This is not a disease that only strikes those who "deserve it" (yes, that is really how some people think!). This is a disease that strikes men, women and children... it strikes heterosexuals and homosexuals, it strikes people of all races and social classes and it strikes people in all countries. HIV/AIDS is a HUMAN problem.
Fear is another big roadblock. HIV can not be transmitted in any casual way, and people that are HIV+ are not a threat to those around them. HIV can only be transmitted through sexual contact, birth, breastfeeding and blood to blood contact (such as sharing needles).

- Consider adopting. Adoption is only an option for a tiny percentage of the 15 million AIDS orphans around the world and it is certainly not the solution to the AIDS crisis or the orphan crisis, but for the tiny percentage of children who do get adopted, it changes their world and their future dramatically (and for the adoptive parents, it is equally amazing). There are agencies and programs placing healthy and special needs orphans from all over the world with new families.

- Support Project HOPEFUL, whose mission is to encourage, educate and enable parents adopting children with HIV/AIDS. plus it is run by my super cool friend Carolyn!!!!!!

tiny diva

2009-05-01T13:42:00.004-06:00

well now the countdown is at 15 days. man, am i going to miss my babies....

E finally had her 15 month check up. she is in the 12th percentile for weight and 75th for height.

the doctor asked us "does she have at least 5 words?" ummm, how is 75? seriously, she is a talker--even putting 2 words together. "bye bye Haan" her vocabulary is off the charts so we are quite proud of our verbose diva.

speaking of diva behaviour, it now seems as though we are going to see an OT for feeding issues (hence only the 12th percentile for weight). i blogged about these in a previous post and things only seem to be getting worse in that area.... in any regard, the sweet thing is still totally hilarious and the life of the party. her big brother is a gem too....

A hundred years from now, it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove...but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child.

- Forest Witcraft

18 days

2009-04-28T18:00:00.006-06:00

that is how many days till i leave for ethiopia....

i am getting super excited and super sad at the same time. i know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is what i am supposed to be doing, yet it doesn't make it any easier to be leaving my precious kiddos and hubby (along with friends and my comfort zone) at home.

we have 2 awesome teams coming with us! as you all know by now, i am staying for both teams for a grand total of 27 days. we have lots of exciting projects we will be working on in a rural orphanage (see older posts for a video/pics of the orphanage we are working at).

fortunately, i have the world's best husband (see older post) who has the vision to see past the short term discomfort of having me gone for almost a month. he can see the ripple effect that our one adoption has had. i remember telling my mom, right after we decided to adopt from ET "it just feels like a drop in the bucket when kids are dying everyday." she was so wise and went on to tell me that this will definitely change the world for Eden but that she really felt like God was going to use this one drop for something bigger than ourselves.

i have to give props to our church for really grasping the need and showing compassion to these kids!

you know what a franics chan fan i am, right????

i saw this on a blog a while back and shared it with the teams going to Ethiopia but thought i should also share it here: it really convicted, ruined, and wrecked me.

i know that i really NEED to go back to ethiopia! not because the orphans need ME or my church but because some days i feel myself losing perspective. i have been wanting things, trying to convince myself i NEED stuff or DESERVE something, dreaming of a bigger, nicer house, or believing that we NEED to have more money in savings.....

Question: Shouldn't you put money aside in case of emergency?

Answer: Are you saying what's happening in Africa ISN'T an emergency?

-Francis Chan

i covet your prayers as i try to prepare myself and our family for this trip!

promise to post some new E pics next post!!

amazing

2009-04-13T20:10:00.001-06:00

15 month update

2009-04-13T14:46:00.008-06:00

our baby turned 15 months old last week! we have her check up this week so we'll see what the good doctor has to say about her :) we have had a fun couple of weeks with haan starting soccer and tee ball, easter, and haan's first ski lesson! i'll spare you all the details and let you enjoy the pics!

"Compassion brings us to a stop, and for a moment we rise above ourselves. "
- Mason Cooley

needing some help...

2009-03-26T16:13:00.008-06:00

lately i/we have been struggling with some issues.

some of these are just too personal for me to post on the blog right now.

so i will get your opinions on my smaller/lighter issues.

issue number one: E is only 14 months old and is throwing MAJOR temper tantrums. really shocking ones. haan didn't really even throw one until he was three so i am unequiped as to what to do about such a small person throwing a fit. it basically happens whenever she doesn't get something she wants. example: she is being held. i put her down to pursue other activites and tantrum ensues. she wants back "up". "baby more up" to be specific. what to do? totally ignore it (it will continue for at least 20 minutes or more), move her to another room, tell her to get a grip, ?????, (this is the part where you leave me a comment with how to handle temper tantrums is a tiny person)

issue two: she has also become (over the past 1-2 months) an extremely picky eater. things were going well until about 12 or 13 months and now the list of acceptable foods has dwindled down to a precious few items: peanut butter, honey, toast, bananas, apples, dry cereal, sometimes oatmeal, macaroni and cheese, poptarts (really they are organic toaster strudels), sometimes yogurt, and mandarin oranges. that is it. notice there is NOT ONE vegetable on that list? with my son, i would have just kept presenting foods and wouldn't care if he chose to eat them or not figuring he would eat when he was hungry. with E, she is so small to begin with that i feel like i shouldn't make her miss meals.... i haven't spoken to her pediatrician about this because we don't go see her until april 15th (this is where i need your help from those of you who have brought home kiddos) sometimes if i even present food that is not on the above list, she launches into "issue number one"

issue three: her hair is starting to get out of hand. i haven't dealt with it until now because it was shaved when last summer and has taken this long to become an issue. i have read so many different things about what to do/apply to the hair that i am confused. let me tell you what i am currently doing (which is bascially nothing) and see if you can help. right now, we are washing her hair once a week (i am just using some random organic shampoo so don't know if i need something different?). every night i put baby oil in her hair and comb it through. there. that's what i do. but it is still totally dry, really curly, and in the back it is getting very matted from rubbing on the car seat and in her crib while she sleeps. i have read about "locking" the hair but have no idea what that is or how to do it or what to do if i just want it to be curly but not snarled? i need some advice--something simple. keep in mind i don't even comb my own hair (yes i am serious).

issue four: some of you know that i am leaving in may for an entire month in ethioipia. i am co-leading a missions team to rural ethiopia to work in an orphanage. yes, i am leaving my kids for an entire month. i originally was only going to go for 2 weeks, but my husband (see above post) insisted that i stay the entire month. i can't believe he agreed to that especially after last summer's extended 7 week stay in ethiopia (see archives from last july) i have alot of different emotions pertaining to this one. some of you will think i am nuts for leaving E after only having her home for 9 months. and i get that. i am really hoping that she doesn't forget me. is that possible? could she forget me if she doesn't see me or hear me for 4 straight weeks? does anyone know? i am not as concerned about haan as he is 6 years old and already survived without me for 7 weeks last summer. plus he will be in school all day for 2 of the 4 weeks. but E?

what say you?

ode de kirk

2009-03-21T10:46:00.005-06:00

holla! kirk's birthday is today!!

he is the ripe ol' age of 35 (yes i married a younger man).

anyway, have i ever told you that kirk rocks? really, he does.

i have the single best husband (for me) that i could possibly have. really. we met 12 years ago after being introduced by a mutual friend. we weren't so into each other at first (understatement), but with some major prodding by said mutual friend, we eventually agreed to go on a "date" (mutual friend came too)... we gradually realized we really enjoyed each other, began officially dating and became engaged about 7 months later.

six months after that we were married. before our engagement, we briefly broke up over the issue of children. i told him that if he for sure wanted kids, then i was not the woman for him. so he said "thanks for telling me," and we broke up (for 2 days). he eventually called back and told me children didn't matter that much and he just wanted to be with me..... (awwww)

anyway, we did get married, and were married for 5 years before we decided to adopt our son. (obviously God did a number on my heart to bring me to the point where i wanted kids--but only ONE kid). adoption was always (and still is) PLAN A for us (we never tried to have biological kids and kirk had "the surgery"). for the next couple of years after we adopted our cutie pie son, kirk continued to campaign for a "little girl." he realllllly wanted a baby girl.

i, however, not-so-much.....

he won.

or should i say God won (again)?

in reality, I won!

i won 12 years ago when i met him, 11 years ago when i married him, 6 years ago when he became a father for the first time, and almost a year ago when we got "his little girl"

he is such a great dad--totally hands on and INVOLVED. involved with ALL of it. not a sit-on-the-couch-and-watch-tv-when-he-gets-home-from-work dad. the minute he walks through the door, he is PRESENT. he is a partner to me. he held down the fort while i was gone all last summer (see archives from last summer) and did a remarkable job. he is holding down the fort (with 2 kids this time) while i leave again for ethiopia in may (it was HIS IDEA that i stay for 4 weeks insead of just 2). he is an example to me of what it is like to lay your life down and serve your family.

i couldn't ask for more.

roll call...

2009-03-16T16:53:00.003-06:00

ok, so i am following in the footsteps of some of my fellow bloggers and taking a roll call....
if you read this, lurk, or are even remotely interested in this blog, let me know. either leave me a comment or click on "follow" to the left. then i can add your blog (if you have one) to my blog list below as well! alright? let's be friends!!!

"History will judge us on how we respond to the AIDS emergency in Africa....whether we stood around with watering cans and watched while a whole continent burst into flames....or not."
Bono

sheesh...

2009-03-10T10:24:00.002-06:00

i don't even know where to begin with this...

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Colorado state senator: ‘HIV testing for pregnant moms rewards sexual promiscuity’

Democrats were outraged Wednesday morning when Republican state Sen. Dave Schultheis said he planned to vote against a bill to require HIV tests for pregnant women because the disease “stems from sexual promiscuity” and he didn’t think the Legislature should “remove the negative consequences that take place from poor behavior and unacceptable behavior.” The Colorado Springs lawmaker then proceeded to cast the lone vote against SB-179, which passed 32-1 and moves on to the House.

Here’s the transcript:

Thank you, Madam President. You know, this was a difficult bill for me. I voted yes in committee on it because of discussions surrounding the fact that — well, let me just basically say this, it basically modifies the communicable disease laws and it requires the health care providers to test pregnant women for HIV unless they opt out. And that’s basically, that’s the main part of this bill. I voted yes on it. I was a little bit troubled with my vote and was just wondering what was bothering me. I woke up the next morning — Thursday morning — at 5 a.m. and I wrestled with this bill for another hour from 5 to 6 and finally came to the conclusion I’m going to be a no vote on this. I’m trying to think through what the role of government is here. And I am not convinced that part of the role of government should be to protect individuals from the negative consequences of their actions.Sexual promiscuity, we know, causes a lot of problems in our state, one of which, obviously, is the contraction of HIV. And we have other programs that deal with the negative consequences — we put up part of our high schools where we allow students maybe 13 years old who put their child in a small daycare center there.We do things continually to remove the negative consequences that take place from poor behavior and unacceptable behavior, quite frankly, and I don’t think that’s the role of this body.As a result of that I finally came to the conclusion I would have to be a no vote on this because this stems from sexual promiscuity for the most part, and I just can’t vote on this bill and I wanted to explain to this body why I was going to be a no vote on this.

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE: This putz must be sucking on a crack pipe; look at this latest article at Colorado Independent:

HIV babies are punishment for promiscuous moms State Sen.Dave Schultheisrestated his opposition to a bill requiring HIV tests for pregnant women by claiming that infected babies would cause families to “see the negative consequences of that promiscuity.”The Colorado Springs Republican with a penchant for foot-in-mouth moments tells The Rocky Mountain News in a follow-up story to Wednesday’s Senate floor controvery: “What I’m hoping is that, yes, that person may have AIDS, have it seriously as a baby and when they grow up, but the mother will begin to feel guilt as a result of that,” he said. “The family will see the negative consequences of that promiscuity and it may make a number of people over the coming years begin to realize that there are negative consequences and maybe they should adjust their behavior.

”Yes, Schultheis really said he is “hoping” people “have AIDS, have it seriously as a baby …”

crazy love...

2009-03-09T11:06:00.003-06:00

well, it has been awhile since i finished crazy love. i don't even know where to begin with it!

i told you how much i stinkin' loved tom davis' books, right? well, i crazy love this one!

i will definitely share what has been going on in my heart, but first you need to run out and buy this.

it's crazy, i'm telling ya....

silencing the roar...

2009-03-05T11:33:00.002-07:00

those of you who have read my blog for a while have heard me talk about tom davis' books and the impact they have made on my life.
he recently wrote an article for Relevant magazine. you can read the whole article here.

but here is a taste:

The devil is roaring throughout Africa. His kill is certain. Why? Perhaps because we are not standing between the lion and its prey. To quote Mother Teresa: “When a poor person dies of hunger, it has not happened because God did not take care of him or her. It has happened because neither you nor I wanted to give that person what he or she needed.”The devil mocks the Church ... roaring over the 50 million people he is devouring by way of AIDS. He gloats over the 143 million orphans and stands atop a mountain of 33,000 children each day who will die from preventable issues like malaria and malnutrition.

Satan knows that if the Church took poverty as seriously as we take abortion, we could wipe it out in a generation. The issue isn’t whether or not we can do it, but rather if we have the will to act.

I urge you to consider three key realities:

There is no neutral ground.
You might think what is happening to Africa is somehow part of God’s will. I submit to you that this viewpoint is complete heresy. C.S. Lewis wrote, “There is no neutral ground in the universe; every square inch, every split second, is claimed by God and counter-claimed by Satan.” What God claims, He claims for good and love. What Satan counter-claims comes with lying, death, suffering and apathy. AIDS is Satan’s most clever tool of destruction. He unleashes a disease that is spread mostly through drug use and sexual contact in a place where millions will die, while the Church argues whether or not AIDS is a lifestyle issue.

There is no Plan B.
God decided that the agents of His “claiming” the universe would be His followers. He doesn’t have a Plan B. Through the ministry of Jesus, we are taught that what really matters is the degree of love and compassion we share with the world. God did not call us as judges. Instead, He called us as reconcilers and healers. We must practice a radical and redemptive love for the least of these.

There is no other choice.
If you take Christ seriously, then you must daily put yourself in front of the roaring lion. You may get attacked. In fact, you probably will.

I recently had breakfast with a South African pastor who drove this point home. After seeing his government systematically ignoring poor children in his community, he took the story to the national newspaper. The scathing article brought death threats upon his home. “I am already dead to Christ,” he said. “What can they do to me?” He’s still alive and well ... and the government is now building a school for these children—all 1,500 of them.

I believe Jesus’ “red letters” divide us into those who talk and those who do. To know Jesus is to love and advocate for the poor, the orphan, the widow and the outcast. Everything else is negotiable. I choose to “live red,” and a new movement of Christians is building behind this idea. It’s about putting the words of Christ into action, and watching the miracle of what happens when you become Jesus to a dying world.

--TOM DAVIS is the president of Children's Hope Chest, a global orphan care ministry working in Russia, Eastern Europe and Africa. He is the author of Red Letters: Living a Faith That Bleeds and Fields of the Fatherless: Discover the Joy of Compassionate Living.

happy referral-versary

2009-03-04T17:58:00.006-07:00

one year ago today we received our referral for a 2 month old baby found abandonded in addis! when we originally started the adoption process, we were thinking about a one year old toddler. until we saw these picutres, that is.....
here is a sampling of her referral pics and some of the update pics we received between march and june when we traveled....

friday photos and quote...

2009-02-27T16:40:00.009-07:00

so, i took my camera into sweet potatoe's room today when i went to get her up from her nap because i somehow just knew something cute would be waiting for me.

i now give you the progression of her "wake-up":

yes, she sucks her finger (but only when she is in bed)--sooo cute

a little wake-up clap....

throwing a blankie overboard...

trying to make an escape...

and i'm outta here...

"Intentions are wonderful things. They are the starting points, the defining moments of our lives. But in and of themselves, intentions are wholly inadequate. As a Christ follower, it’s easy to mistake intention for action and stirrings for solutions. I sometimes give myself credit for being a pretty remarkable human being just because I feel angry about injustice, pain over suffering, or empathy in the face of hurt. But even the strength of my intentions is not an accurate indicator of whether or not I will take the time to act, to put faith to work, to be the difference that Christ has empowered me to be. Defining moments are only as good as the lifestyles they translate into."

Nancy Ortberg

wrestling...

2009-02-24T21:10:00.002-07:00

so i have been wrestling lately. with myself. with our decisions. with the economy. wondering why we never seem to have enough. i will be honest. we have NO savings. there i said it.
we have nothing set aside for an emergency. for college. for a car. for........

but we do have our daughter. yes it was expensive to bring her home. yes, it is still expensive to raise her now that she is home. and so i wrestle. yes, life would have been much easier and much more comfortable had we not made the decision to adopt again (internationally nonetheless). but we never would have had the opportunity to have our hearts broken open quite the way they are now.

i have been wrestling for a few months. then tonight i read something on franics chan's blog along with a video of an abandoned baby from Uganda. and then i remembered why we gave it all up for an abandoned little girl in Ethiopia...

"why is my life more valuable than this baby's? Someone asked me recently why I don't save money for emergencies, or retirement. My answer was how can I justify saving for myself "just in case" something happens to me when something IS happening to so many already. 29,000 kids will die today of preventable causes. If I'm to love my neighbor AS myself, why spend so much time worrying about me?"

speaking of tees for a good cause...

2009-02-17T15:25:00.005-07:00

speaking of t-shirts, i have been holding out on you.

i am related to a gifted graphic designer who has killer tees. my sister-in-law traci makes designed these killer tees for AIDS awareness and this sweet one for poverty awareness. you can get long or short sleeve AND pick the color of your shirt. my mom has been wearing her long sleeve one in black, and it is awesome.

PLUS you can even get one for your baby or child.

now go buy it, i know you'll like it...

monday quote and pictures

2009-02-14T19:48:00.006-07:00

nothing we can do can change the past.

but everything we do changes the future.

Ashleigh Brilliant

friday quote

2009-02-12T15:28:00.002-07:00

There are seven sins in the world:

wealth without work
pleasure without conscience
knowledge without character
commerce without morality
science without humanity
worship without sacrifice
politics without principle

Mahatma Ghandi

got your t-shirts? i do!

2009-02-12T10:23:00.004-07:00

ok, so i received this message today, immediately purchased my tee shirt and decided to share:

"There’s a movement growing. Everyday in the Western world someone’s eyes are opened to the orphan crisis that’s ravaging the developing countries. The problem seems so large and we seem so insignificant. We can make a difference though. By raising awareness we foster a community and as a community we can provide. We’re asking you to help us in creating that community.

World AIDS Orphan Day is May 7th. The AHOPE Store has developed a t-shirt to commemorate this day and the community of supporters that are growing year after year.

Please join us in raising awareness. It’s simple. Order our newest t-shirt from the AHOPE Store for a $10 donation. (All proceeds go towards care of the children served by AHOPE.) Wear your shirt as often as possible, and especially on World AIDS Orphan Day. It will serve as a reminder to your community. It may even create a dialogue. That dialogue could open someone’s eyes. You might inspire them to do more, give more. We are asking you to join us in creating a community that is committed to orphan care.

After seeing what one little t-shirt can you might be inspired yourself. If that’s the case be sure to check out the World AIDS Orphan Day website. Here you can find further information on this grassroots campaign and how to organize an event in your area. The campaign was founded by FXB International in 2002 and continues to grow year after year.

To order your shirt, please visit http://www.ahopestore.org/. For orders of 20 or more please contact Marissa Baker at store@ahopeforchildren.org. Thank you very much for your support of AHOPE!"

along the same lines, i have been a busy girl lately. right this very moment, even as i type this, i am wearing a tee shirt from these people. if you click on the "adoption rocks" badge to your left, it will also take you to the site. that is what the tee looks like!

in addition, i have bought 2 other awesome tees (bringing my grand total of recent awesome tee purchases to 4). you need to check them out here and here.

okay, that is all for now. go get yourselves some of those tees!

tuesday quote

2009-02-10T18:24:00.004-07:00

Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired.

Mother Teresa

i love this photo because you can see how tiny the potato was. this was taken a couple of days into our trip while we were wrestling with whether or not i should stay in ethiopia....

you can also totally tell that we both had been crying our eyes out....

every day

2009-02-09T10:30:00.005-07:00

did you know i think about ethiopia every single day?

i

do.

i think about all the sights, sounds, and smells.

i think about all children and the many stories i heard while spending time at the orphanages.

and

breaks

heart.

i want these children to be cared for (either here or there)--just taken care of. sometimes, i am accused of talking about it too much,

but

can't

help

it.

not when i have seen my baby go from

this

i guess i would rather be the way i am than be lukewarm.

lukewarm people do whatever is necessary to keep themselves from feeling guilty. they want to do the bare minimum to be “good enough” without it requiring much of them…they ask, “how much do i have to give?” instead of “how much can i give?”--francis chan

i really want to find out

how

much

can

give.

saturday quote

2009-02-07T12:07:00.000-07:00

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.- Leo Tolstoy

13 month update...

2009-02-06T10:35:00.007-07:00

um, this is actually a CAMO watch...

opening the snowshoes... (did you notice the camo pants)

no clue what is happening but having fun anyway...

notice E's preferred mode of transportation....

E is 13 months old today! we have now been home almost 6 months.

she is really quite the character--it is unbelievable to me what some love and nutrition can do for these babies. she is walking BUT would much rather ride around on me (it's how she likes to roll). she is STILL a velcro baby and resists being held by people except family. we try to get her to walk, but she just stops, looks up and says "up." wellll, what am i supposed to say to that??
speaking of speaking....her vocab is as follows: up, doggie, uh-oh, sa (for sock), sh (for shoe),woof (what a dog says), baby, ball, baa (what a sheep says), nana (for banana), appa (for apple), more, ba ba (for bye bye), and the infamous hi. she also hisses for snakes and does a mean rendition of a pig snort.

the haan is reading so well and quite excited about "2 letter phonograms." he writes great too. still such a loving big brother... oh and for the record, yes he wears camo pants almost every day. he is slightly obsessed with all things camo

these photos were from their 2 different combined birthday parties (remember i have the joy of their birthdays being 9 days apart--in january no less...)

(different day, different pair of camo pants)

i will get some new E pics up soon, but until then, here's this:

2009-02-04T11:10:00.000-07:00

AHOPE: Remembering Amelezeud

2009-01-30T16:57:00.004-07:00

Amelezeud Gashaw

1992-2005

Amelezeud Gashaw was 11 years old when admitted to AHOPE Ethiopia with her two younger brothers. Beautiful and talented, she was a leader among the children, always ready to help whenever needed.

She was also an excellent student, earning top grades despite her frequent absences from school due to illness. She learned to speak fluent English as well as her native Amharic despite a hearing loss due to complications from AIDS.

The world lost a child of great promise when Amelezeud Gashaw died of AIDS at age 13 in September 2005, just as anti-retro-viral medications finally arrived at AHOPE Ethiopia, but too late to help her.

Amelezeud is a legend amongst AHOPE supporters and the staff in Ethiopia. Her life, in my opinion, speaks volumes to the importance of AHOPE and orphan care in general. She had many dreams and although they were not realized, her life has come to mean so much to so many.

In her own words:

“After I graduate, I want to be a professor of mathematics. In our country there are not many women pilots, so I may want to be a pilot. I want to learn quickly and I want to grow up. In the future, I want to live in my family’s house. I want to build my older brother a villa and to plant flowers on the gate to make it beautiful. I want to help children without families, like me. I am going to tell them that I like them, and help them the way Mimi and Bibi help me. More than anything, I like to read history books. This makes my life happy” (Greene 213).

AHOPE for Children is honoring Amelezeud with the next memorial bracelet. We respectfully ask that you join us in honoring this incredible child by wearing her bracelet. They can be purchased for a donation of $15.00 at http://www.ahopestore.org/. Proceeds benefit the children of AHOPE – Ethiopia.
Greene, Melissa Fay. There is No Me Without You. New York: Bloomsbury USA, 2006.

thank you oxfam

2009-01-26T18:14:00.000-07:00

once again, i need africa more than africa needs me...

2009-01-14T18:55:00.002-07:00

value of education

2009-01-14T13:14:00.000-07:00

one

2009-01-06T11:09:00.007-07:00

well, my baby is one year old today! i can hardly believe it. she has changed so much in the almost 7 months since we met her. she took her first steps last saturday but hasn't walked since so i don't know what's up with that? she continues to be a real joy to us with her crazy personality. she went snowshoeing and winter hiking for the first time on new years day and loved it. such a sweet baby. we tossed the bottles (and the formula) this weekend as well--she hardly missed a beat! the big girl just drinks her milk from a straw now.

here are some recent photos of the birthday girl along with one of our update/referral pics from last spring. (remember the baby who couldn't sit, wouldn't smile or make eye contact??)

Melkam Genna!!

2008-12-24T11:44:00.004-07:00

Merry Christmas!

it was about one year ago that we began our journey to eden! it was an interesting journey--one that took me places i didn't initially want to go and yet i wouldn't trade it for the world. i am so excited for 2009 because it will take me back to Ethiopia in may. we were able to send over some Christmas presents for the kids at the ambo orphanage. the ladies bible study at our church gathered presents, backpacks, and school supplies for the 39 orphans residing there. this is the same orphanage we will be working at in may.
we are quite excited for the sweet potatoe's first Christmas. i will post some pics but here is a pic of the ambo kids with their presents.

the biblical mandate

2008-12-19T15:55:00.004-07:00

THE CRY OF THE ORPHANS...We have become orphans and fatherless, our mothers like widows. (Lamentations 5:3, NIV)

EVIL MEN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ORPHANS...They drive away the orphan's donkey and take the widow's ox in pledge. (Job 24:3, NIV)

They slay the widow and the stranger and murder the orphans. (Psalm 94:6, NASB)
Others snatch the orphan from the breast, and against the poor they take a pledge. (Job 24:9,NASB)

BUT GOD'S JUSTICE COVERS THE ORPHANS...Do not take advantage of a widow or an orphan. If you do and they cry out to me, I will certainly hear their cry. (Exodus 22:22-23, NIV)

He executes justice for the orphan and the widow. (Deuteronomy 10:18a, NASB)
Woe to those who…rob the poor of My people of their rights, so that widows may be their spoil and that they may plunder the orphans. (Isaiah 10:1a-2b, NASB)

Do not mistreat or do violence to the stranger, the orphan, or the widow. (Jeremiah 22:3b, NASB)

Then I will draw near to you for judgment; and I will be a swift witness against…those who oppress…the widow and the orphan. (Malachi 3:5a, NASB)

GOD PROMISES HIS LOVE AND PROTECTION TO THE ORPHANS...Leave your orphans; I will protect their lives. (Jeremiah 49:11a, NIV)

I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. (John 14:18, NIV)

You have been the helper of the orphan. (Psalm 10:14b, NASB)

You will incline Your ear to vindicate the orphan and the oppressed, so that man who is of the earth will no longer cause terror. (Psalm 10:17b-18, NASB)

For in You the orphan finds mercy. (Hosea 14:2c, NASB)

GOD CALLS US TO BE INSTRUMENTS OF JUSTICE FOR THE ORPHANS...Dispense true justice and practice kindness and compassion each to his brother; and do not oppress the widow or the orphan, the stranger or the poor. (Zechariah 7:9b-10b, NASB)

GOD CALLS US TO GIVE AND CARE FOR ORPHANS...Learn to do good; Seek justice, reprove the ruthless, defend the orphan, plead for the widow. (Isaiah 1:17, NASB)

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. (James 1:27, NIV)

When you gather the grapes of your vineyard, you shall not go over it again; it shall be for the alien, for the orphan, and for the widow. (Deuteronomy 24:21, NASB)

GOD BLESSES THOSE WHO ARE OBEDIENT TO HIS COMMAND TO CARE FOR THE ORPHANS...When you reap your harvest in your field and have forgotten a sheaf in the field, you shall not go back to get it; it shall be for the alien, for the orphan, and for the widow, in order that the LORD your God may bless you in all the work of your hands. (Deuteronomy 24:19, NASB)

For when the ear heard, it called me blessed, and when the eye saw, it gave witness of me, because I delivered the poor who cried for help, and the orphan who had no helper. The blessing of the one ready to perish came upon me, and I made the widow's heart sing for joy. (Job 29:11-13, NASB)

waking eden

2008-12-15T11:00:00.002-07:00

lately eden has been sleeping so soundly during her naps. she does not always sleep so soundly and sometimes will awaken with any little noise, but other times, i can't make enough noise to wake her up. this particular day, i opened her door, went into her room about 5 times, made alot of commotion, and she just wouldn't wake up.

the little sweet potato was just having a great nap.

brunch with santa

2008-12-14T15:40:00.003-07:00

well today we went to lunch with Santa. let's just say E isn't a fan.... seriously, i have one child who thinks he is chandler bing and another who can't stand for anyone to hold her except for kirk and i. there was no way she was getting within 5 feet of poor Santa. i was, however, very proud of haan. when Santa asked what he wanted for Christmas, he said "i just want to make sure you will be going to Africa. that is all i want." seriously proud. here are some photos from brunch and some other recent porter randomness.

11 months old

2008-12-11T10:51:00.003-07:00

while i was slacking at my blogging, eden turned 11 months old! she has been home for 4 months now and is the center of our household. she is continually learning new things and developing beautifully. she continues to sleep through the night (7 to 7), takes 2 naps a day (1.5-2hours each), has 7 teeth, and is starting to cruise furniture. i am hoping she takes her time in learning to walk so we haven't been doing much to encourage her. she still very much prefers me, kirk, or my mom and will pretty much throw a fit if anyone else tries to hold her. my mom has been the biggest lifesaver to me for the past 4 months and i am pretty sure i would be in the psych ward without her. she babysits eden ususally a couple times per week so i can go to work and go to other appointments. i did start putting E in the nursery at church for the past 3 weeks and she definitely protests but i haven't been called out of the service so that is progress...

haan is such a great big brother to her. he will be 6 years old next month which makes me a little sad. actually, he and eden's birthdays are 9 days apart.

i have been very busy taking care of my sweet potato, working (only on Tuesday mornings and some weekends), volunteering, and planning my next trip to ET in may with our church for a missions' trip. most nights i have even been managing to cook an actual dinner--this took me a good couple of months to work up to.

here a couple photos because i know my blog has been photo bare (and update bare) for a while.

notice in the first photo that eden is on the dog bed whilst my 2 gynormous dogs lie on our bed. seriously, what is wrong with our family? we have dog beds all over the house, and yet, inevitably they sleep with us. what is really messed up is that haan (in all his 6 years) has never slept in our bed with us (not even for an hour).

and in case you are wondering, no we don't let E just parade around naked all the time :) she escaped from kirk during bathtime and made her way into say hi to barkley and bono.

i need Africa more than Africa needs me...

2008-12-07T15:02:00.002-07:00

" I believe in Father Christmas"

2008-12-02T16:21:00.001-07:00

U2

click on the picture to check it out.

120108

2008-11-24T10:17:00.002-07:00

it is World Aids Day on December 1st. You can read the Pepfar 2008 country report on Ethiopia here.

one more to check out...

2008-11-21T11:51:00.000-07:00

i got nothin'

2008-11-14T10:38:00.002-07:00

well, not really nothing. but my pal carolyn had a great post and i can't beat that so read hers PLEASE!!

eden says "hi"

2008-11-12T18:27:00.004-07:00

here are some halloween pics. eden was a butterfly and haan was red power ranger. i went as a housewife.

eden's new thing is saying "hi." she says it in the morning when i come to wake her up and she says it if i say "what does eden say?" does anyone else think it is as cute as i do? does anyone even read this blog anymore? :)

chasing eden

2008-11-05T12:07:00.006-07:00

well, let's see. i kinda "went dark" there, didn't i? it was unintentional. lots has been happening.

eden went to a doctor's appt. last week, and we found out she is 40% for weight and 50% for height which is awesome. she continues to grow like crazy.

her latest trick is crawling. i really didn't think she would be crawling at 9 months old considering haan didn't crawl until 10 months. halloween was a blast with both kids and i will try to get some pics together of it, but until then, watch this.

in addition, i am so stoked that our church has added Ethiopia as its newest mission's field. i have been working on this since i returned from ethiopian and am soo excited about it!!!!

they are sending a team over in may to my friend Suleiman's orphanage. remember, i posted that video awhile back?

bono speaks

2008-10-23T11:42:00.003-06:00

no matter who you are voting for in this election, please ask your candidate to not waver in their support for the world's poorest people. it is now more important than ever to stand up for effective, efficient solutions that save millions of lives, strengthen the global economy, and win the hearts and minds of people around the world. you can sign a petition here to ask them to do just that!!!

also, one of my heroes (that would be BONO) spoke last night, and you can watch his speech here.

no this is not the exciting news i promised to write about in my last post (i can't believe another week has flown by and i haven't updated the blog) but i will get to that asap!

ethiopia in the news

2008-10-14T08:06:00.001-06:00

Ethiopia is in the news once again. Check out this article from BBC.

also, there is a slide show here.

in my next post, i will have some exciting news!

not lovin' this

2008-10-11T15:14:00.003-06:00

this is what i wish i woke up to this morning:
and this would be why we signed up for indoor soccer!! i woke up this morning to this (disregard the date stamp on my camera--it is wrong!!)

it was eden's first day of snow. maybe tomorrow i will get some photos of her in it... today was spent at the indoor soccer game followed by sledding and snow man for haan and kirk. the E and i went shopping (the girl needs some winter clothes!!). now it's off to church...

it's october!!

2008-10-09T13:00:00.010-06:00

sorry for the delay, again. :) here's what has been happening this week. saturday afternoon, we hit the pumpkin patch, and then saturday night eden was dedicated at church. good stuff. this week she also turned 9 months old and we marked 2 months since eden and i came home from Ethiopia!

rockin' my dedication outfit

this is what i look like after yogurt and tahini

eat so they can

2008-09-29T15:59:00.003-06:00

want to help stop child poverty? check this out. Eat So They Can is an international fundraiser that invites citizens of the world to participate in what is collectively one huge dinner party; where something as simple as sharing a meal with friends can help stop child poverty.
sounds like a good idea to me!

here a couple stats on global poverty:

every day, 25,000 people die because of hunger; 18,000 of them are children.

the world has produced more then enough food to feed itself since the 1960's, yet around the world, over 850 million people are chronically hungry.

road trip

2008-09-27T10:36:00.003-06:00

well yesterday kirk, eden, and i headed up to bozeman. eden has been seeing a nurse practitioner up there so we had an appointment in the afternoon. we left a little early so we could stop by and see my fellow blogger friend mary. mary brought home 2 girls about a month ago or so. kistet was napping so we didn't get to see her, but we did get to hang out with grace who happens to be only one day older than eden. they were soo cute together.

afterwards we hit the doctor's office. last time we went, she told us eden was underweight and needed to gain some weight. this time, we no sooner walked in the door when she spotted us and said "wow you don't mess around, do you." needless to say, she is now 17.12 pounds and is now on the growth scale. she is 28 inches tall. it must be all of the brewer's yeast, tahini, wheat germ and flaxseed she is eating???

anyway, it was a great day...

family photo

2008-09-25T11:04:00.004-06:00

ok, so we had our first post placement report last week. it went very well. of course, eden continues to adjust beautifully. she is growing and developing nicely. well, at the end of the visit, the social worker turns to me and says "oh and i'll need 6-8 photos of your family." uh, that would be great if we even had ONE. yeah, that's right, people we had not ONE photo of our family! kirk and i have never been big picture takers. first of all, i do not like having my picture taken. second of all, we just forget most of the time. i have been better about taking photos of the kids, but as far as the family photo goes, well, we are lame!! oh and you do remember my posts about haan and his "chandler-esque" smiles. so that makes photo taking REAL FUN. (you should see the soccer and school photos....).

anyway, enter my friend jodie. she met us last weekend on the rims so we could try to capture the elusive family photo. hope the social worker is happy. we had fun trying....

pepfar and project hopeful

2008-09-11T15:27:00.005-06:00

while i was in ethiopia, i met 3 families that were there to adopt HIV+ children. i stayed with 2 of the kids at one of my guest houses. they are both such beautiful children being adopted into awesome homes.

while we were staying at the guest house, we learned that President Bush signed into law PEPFAR. prior to this signing, those families wishing to adopt HIV-positive children had to sign a waiver. now HIV-positive people will no longer be required to seek a special visa waiver through a US embassy meaning that the process to adopt a child from ethiopia is the same regardless of HIV status!! that is so incredible and relieves the parents of any additional paperwork burden or cost!!

here is an article about a family from wyoming who adopted 2 children

this is a link to a great resource called Project Hopeful. it was founded by one of the women i stayed with at the guest house. her daughter is in the photos above (taken this summer in ethiopia at the guest house).

site and video

2008-09-09T10:36:00.002-06:00

ok, so you neeeed to check out this site

there are more people in Ethiopia without clean water than any other country in Africa. There are 70+ million people living in the country, and 75% of the population lacks access to safe, clean drinking water. i personally witnessed women and children walking almost their entire day in order to obtain clean water!

now watch this video and find out what you can do to help!!

milestones and musings...

2008-09-06T11:16:00.010-06:00

okay, i know my blog negligence has reached a new low... i have become one of those bloggers--you know where you diligently check their site for a new post and there is NOTHING there.

here is what has been transpiring in the anderson/porter household:

haan had his first soccer game this morning

last week, kirk and i celebrated our ten year anniversary.
some of you know that one year ago, we our bought tickets to go to NYC to watch the 2008 US Open tennis tournament. well, then we decided to adopt our princess soooo, alas, we couldn't afford to go to NYC and we went to dinner instead :) (almost the same).
i guess there is always my 40th birthday to look forward to. maybe we can go then...
here are a couple of the flowers he got me. i am not normally a flower girl (much too practical), but these were really pretty.

today is eden's 8 month birthday!!! she has grown soo much since we first saw her on june 26th at 5 months old.
i don't think kirk went into much detail while i was gone (i still need to post the story and photos of my trip, i know), but when we arrived, eden was NOT doing well. they had diagnosed her with "failure to thrive" but my diagnosis was that she was dying. i do not believe that she would have survived into the fall had God not intervened and allowed me to stay in africa and then allowed our case to pass court!
she has become an completely different child--very verbal, very funny and quite happy--definitely thriving. she got her first tooth yesterday and it is soooo cute. of course i couldn't get it to show in any pictures, but trust me, it's cute.
today also marks the 4 week anniversary of eden arriving home.

Wreckage

2008-08-31T21:33:00.005-06:00

What wrecks you?

I am reminded of how beautiful the Ethiopian people are when I watch that video, how I long to go back. I share Nancy's passion for Ethiopia and I will find a way to serve those people.

While we were in country, together, visiting Eden, we went to the AIDS orphanage. I took some footage of the visit and was reminded the other day of how well we have it after viewing it again. I cannot show it but I will describe a piece for you.

We entered a room from an outside walkway containing several kids and a couple nanny's. The smell was unbearable and so were the flies. I made my way through the room, recording footage as we went. I finally stopped at a little girl, age I don't know, but she was smiling and standing up in her crib. She was blind and deaf.
Nancy was scratching her back and she was smiling and making noises of ecstasy, soaking it in. I reached out to touch her hand and she was so desperate for touch she jumped when we touched hands. I had to stop the camera and cry.

"whatever you do for the least of these you do for me" -Jesus-

ambo video

2008-08-28T11:48:00.003-06:00

so this is a video of an orphanage that we visited in Ambo, Ethiopia. it is run by a remarkable man named Suleiman who was once an orphan himself and now works tirelessly on behalf of orphans in ethiopia. this orphanage educates not only their children but many children in the surrounding rural area. they have so many needs and if you are interested in donating, please email me or leave a comment...

more from home

2008-08-26T10:49:00.010-06:00

wow! 2 days in a row! just like old times, huh?

thought i would put in a few more pics from my 2 week summer :)

also, i have had alot of questions about eden (both online and in person) so here's a couple questions answered:

1. she's really tiny, how much does she weigh?

you are right! she is very tiny. she weighs a bit over 14 pounds and is not on the growth chart for weight for her age. this is assuming the birthdate they gave her is accurate (which i think it is close). she IS, however, on the growth chart for height and head circumference which is good. it just means we need to fatten her up!

2. is she crawling?
no, she is not crawling. she is sitting up by herself and loves to stand with a little support but nothing yet in the crawling department.

3. is she healthy?

yes, for the most part, she is very healthy. she is underweight (obviously), has some issues with reflux (we are trying to find a good formula that stays down--anyone have suggestions???), but is healthy.

4. how is her sleep?

she sleeps from 7pm-6am and takes 2 naps per day (1 or 1 1/2 hour each)

5. how old is she?

well, we are not positive because she was found abandonded on the streets of addis, but they estimated her date of birth to be 010608 which makes her 7 months old right now.

i will happily answer any other questions you have about eden or about ethiopia or ethiopian adoption in general. just drop me a comment or an email.

gotta run, i hear the diva awakening...

porterhouse update

2008-08-25T19:45:00.021-06:00

okay, i know this is a case of serious blog neglect. i really wonder if anyone even reads this anymore (if you are still with me, leave me a comment--otherwise i will assume i am talking to myself). forgive me. i tried to cram an entire summer into 2 weeks as i never planned on spending my summer in ethiopia...

now for the updates:

eden- adjusting pretty well. she is definitely well on her way with bonding with kirk and i. really she likes to be held constantly (preferably by me--which really makes doing the household chores a snap-NOT). she is sleeping through the night although it seems as though we may have another early riser (both kids are up at 6am). she is starting on solid foods and i am making her baby food using the Super Baby Food book. although, i have begun making and freezing stuff for her--stuff like carrots, sweet potatoes, green beans, peas, bananas, papayas, etc.., i have still been unable to make a meal for the rest of our family. thank you to those that have brought or are bringing food--you will never know what a blessing that is.

haan--well, he started kindergarten today which made me very sad. my little guy is getting too big and goes to school from 8:30am-3pm every day. on one hand it is nice to have the time to spend with eden, but i do miss the haan. i have included some photos of the first day of school. remember the chandler-esque smiles that we love so much? overall, he seems to enjoy his big brother status and eden really likes him.

kirk--what a HUGE help he is. he is back to work full-time but is a great partner helping around the house with both kids and all the housework that overwhelms me right now. i am sure i will get some of my groove back eventually, but in the meantime, i am so grateful for him

me-- first let me say "i really miss ethiopia." i didn't realize how much i would miss it. it was NOT one of those trips where i can come back from and say "wow, i really appreciate my life and am so thankful of everything that i have." i am uncomfortable with what i saw and yet i want more discomfort. i want to go back!!! i cannot live amidst such extreme poverty for that long and return to my life and get comfortable and cozy again. i long to be back in eden's country-it is my country now. i am praying for clear direction as to how that will be possible once again. that being said, i am not totally comfortable with my new life--with my role as mother of two children. eden is beautiful, hilarious, charming, but sometimes very challenging. i am fighting the selfish side of me every day. of course i love her with all of my heart, but it is a challenge--an uncomfortable one sometimes...

here are some pics of what we have been up to while i neglected the blog:

home

2008-08-10T07:10:00.006-06:00

hey there! it is me (nancy) here to tell you that eden and i are finally home. i never thought i would be spending 7 weeks in ethiopia away from my son and family and am still struggling with how to process my trip, but obviously there was a purpose for it.

we arrived home friday night about 11pm after a 33 hour journey. i am extremely jet-lagged and exhausted but so happy to see my hubby and son again. eden is doing pretty well. we are dealing with the 9 hour time difference and sleep is very rare (those of you that know me well realize how much i love to sleep), but we are just so proud of her.

we are also proud of her big brother. i woke haan up when i got home and we stayed up until 1:30 am letting haan and eden get to know each other.

i will be sure to post more photos from my extendo-trip to ethiopia as soon as my head stops spinning.

thanks again to all of you for your prayers, encouragement, help with haan sitting, etc... we sooo appreciate you!!

Free to leave

2008-08-06T06:43:00.002-06:00

I can't believe it, everything finally arrived at the embassy in Addis for Nancy and Eden to leave. They will both be back this Friday.

I have always known Nancy to be a strong woman but I am very proud of her on this journey she allowed me to take her on. Almost 8 weeks in a third world country, four of those completely alone. This is one of the many to come thank yous to Nancy for sacrificing what she did for her little daughter and family.

Nice Job Nancy, I love you!

Finally, a new post

2008-08-01T22:27:00.003-06:00

Sorry for the delay in updating the post. Single parenting is hard and I have neglected all of the wonderful readers of our journey as I die of exhaustion by 9 pm each night.

Nancy and Eden will be staying in the Sheraton in Addis tonight with Mary. Finally a shower and new clothes for Nancy and some much needed R&R. We are hoping to get Nancy and Eden home Tuesday but if all does not go well it will be Thursday, regardless I get my family back in less than a week - THANK GOD.

As you can see in the picture Eden is an Ethiopian princess and Nancy says she is really funny.

Gods plan

2008-07-25T21:21:00.005-06:00

What is God's plan anyway? Well...it is my understanding, although limited, that God wants us to be like Jesus. At first glance one might think "sweet, nice guy, God incarnate, died on the cross, what a deal - I'm in" but then you realize what this means or maybe you never do and your the dude wearing just the white robe standing around in heaven wondering where everyone got the jewels?? We go through our life interpreting our surroundings through our myopic view of the universe and our world. As John Eldredge so eloquently teaches us in Waking the Dead, something so mythical is happening around us if we don't change our view we will miss it - rendering ourselves, almost, completely useless in the game of Christianity and transformation.

Trust me somewhere in the bible it talks about white robes and everyone else wearing jewels so you need to go look it up.

Nancy is still in country, I still have a full time job, Haan still needs his father to be engaged, laundry, house cleaning, yard work, and recreation all still have to happen. All the while we are being pulled at an alarming rate through the refiners inferno. There is NO chance that I am going to miss what God has for me and my family-IT MUST BE GREAT. Man I am ecstatic about what God is going to do. So...how else can I take this load, what would the enemy have me do? My God is THE warrior ala smack down champion, never to be dethroned and I will call upon Him and whatch as He delivers.

OK - maybe it has been a long five weeks and yes I am sane. All jokes aside God is good and can be trusted and my family and I will be trusting in him for delivery, protection, and transformation.

So much more is out there beyond ME, so much we can do and become. I am ashamed of the time I have wasted eating baby food, as Paul would put it.

I am left with this question tonight "What is God waiting for me to wake up to?" as Elderidge puts it "A story is in play which I am expected to play a very important part".

Update's

2008-07-18T21:55:00.002-06:00

Well, I have neglected the blog for a couple days so here is the GREAT! news.

We passed court and are now waiting for our embassy date on the 4th of August. The prayer needs now are for a quicker embassy appointment. There are many details around why we want an earlier embassy date but for the sake peace I won't share them quite yet.

In the end we will have our family back by August 7th. Praise God!

Nancy is out of the orphanage with Eden and Anna and her child in a guest house. Not much sleep is going around but love is. As for Eden, she is having some acid reflux issues but other than that she is very happy to be with Nancy.

Can't wait to have my family back together, six weeks without my wife is a real stretch.

Thank you all for your prayers and concern and I cannot wait for you to meet Eden Misikir.

Thank you

2008-07-13T23:25:00.002-06:00

Countless people have been praying for us and Nancy and I thank you. I will never know how deep Gods love and forgiveness are but I have experienced a sliver of what is available through all of you.

Nancy is doing well and Eden is growing. She is six months and twelve pounds. When we arrived she didn't know how to laugh, push up, roll over, or sit up. She is well on her way to doing all of those things now. I have the most beautiful picture of her laughing.

Nancy now has another, soon to be, mother with her in Addis from the states and she is excited about that.

We met a Christian leader while in Addis as a missions finding trip. This man has a plan and is ready to execute. He has a parcel of land and a good start on building facilities for the kids in his care. A school and dorm are currently built but much is needed. These children are orphans and are taken care of and educated at this facility. A second dorm, school, and well are needed. These kids are so beautiful and loving they are blessed to have God step in through this man and hopefully you to help. I will update you on these items soon.

Due to technical difficulties

2008-07-13T17:21:00.002-06:00

Well I don't know what happened there but the site was down for some time. We have good news -- apparently things are going to start moving and by end of day Tuesday we should know when we can bring our little girl home. Thank you God - because that is who i owe all.

Addis is wearing on Nancy and I cannot wait to have her back in the states.

I will add to the blog later this evening so stay tuned.

Snapshot

2008-07-10T19:55:00.007-06:00

A heavy haze rising over the city hiding, what seems to be, a beautiful mountainous backdrop, the sun bright but struggling to make its way through the thick stench. People bustling here and there, swerving in and out of cars as horns honk and goats bleat in the background. No road signs, no cop cars, sidewalks covered with peddlers, beggars, livestock, nursing mothers, and people who appear to be passed out or just sleeping. Each street, seems to flow into the next and inside of the first minute all bearings have been lost.

Covering the sides of both streets, tin shack after tin shack, next to make shift tent after tent and people everywhere. Designer clothes to sack cloth, business people stepping over a mother under a tarp feeding her baby. Next to her another toddler plays in the dirt. The car stops and a twelve year old boy shows up at the window, face badly burnt and scarred over with eyes so blue it almost looked fake. Words resembling "need food, need help" echo through the glass with a heavy accent. A sudden internal panic appears as I lock eyes with the boy and then turn my head away as though I didn't see him, all the time hearing the same chant "need food, need help" and fully aware of the blue eyes bearing down on me. Forever seemed to go by as I waited for traffic to start back up.

The driver makes a right turn, proceeds a couple hundred yards through the mass of people and then turns right down an ally you would never find me in a million years. The car stops at a gate, three blurps of the horn, and out pops the head of a man and quickly disappears, then the gate pops open revealing the orphanage.

Once out of the car we are greeted with the sweet sound of children singing in Amaharic and I later learn it is a welcome song. What appears to be a pile of junk to the left is later identified as the house were the guard sleeps. A walkway parts two small buildings and turns to the right stopping at the brick outer wall. An indescribable stench is in the air and I gasp as I get nearer. On the left, I later find, are dorms and the right is where the babies are.

Against the brick wall a path leads back around the structure, half way down I find a squat potty, eight infant potties, full, and one toilet, if you could call it that. The path ends with three young ladies working diligently on hand washing clothe diapers under a tin shed roof hanging from the outer wall. This returns me to our vehicle and the sound of singing.

I meet eyes with a young boy, he smiles the biggest smile I have ever seen and then turns his head as he laughs and runs away to look back taunting me, almost pleading with me to engage. To his left a little girl not more than two and half smiles and walks up and berry's her head in my leg and hugs me looking up with a smile sweeter than anything, eye deep brown, Braids running through her hair with a dark olive skin and a cross of Jesus around her neck. In the backdrop are older boys I later grow to love, one is attached to me somehow.

I find myself thinking "this place is deplorable" but I realize it is paradise compared to what I just witnessed outside the gates. The day ends the way it started but the destination was clean, stuck in the seventies, Hilton.

Volume 2

2008-07-09T20:06:00.003-06:00

I told the story of John earlier in the blog, the story continues......

Filled with the joy of finding out he could possibly have parents in America, John jumped for joy with his would be brother in the orphanage. The next day greeted John with the customary trip to the hospital for a checkup, which always follows the future parents inquiry of a child. Smiling from ear to ear, happy to get the checkup because it means his ticket out, waving to his friends in the orphanage as he pulls out the door. The others smile with happiness as they see that there friend is happy and could have a new family.

John never returned to the orphanage, after receiving his checkup he was ushered on to another orphanage site where they keep the HIV positive kids.

I love this boy and since I have heard the news today my heart is with him. I know he is sad, he watched his mom and dad die a slow death from AIDS, he knows. He also probably thinks it is the kiss of death for his hopes of finding a family. Moreover, he returned to yet another strange place with different people and, now, really a forgotten one. I can only imagine the tears of pain as they rolled down his face onto a strange bed. He is eight and has seen and suffered more pain than I have in my lifetime.

I spent a week loving on him. God loves him. Everything paled in comparison today after I heard that news. I take so much for granted. God comfort John and strengthen him like only you can.

Lose yourself

2008-07-08T20:01:00.005-06:00

I don't know how many times I have cruised by the verse in the Bible that talks about losing your life and finding it, but up until I left for Africa I would say "too many". This morning I was reading through Mathew chapter 10 and there it was again, but this time it was a totally different experience.

Mathew 10:37-39

I spent some time reading through the study part of the Bible and this is what it said.

Christian commitment may separate friends and loved ones. In saying this, Jesus was not encouraging disobedience to parents or conflict at home. Rather, he was showing that his presence demands a decision. Because some will follow Christ and some won't, conflict will inevitably arise. As we take our cross and follow him, our different values, morals, goals, and purposes will set us apart from others. Christ calls us to a higher mission than to find comfort and tranquility in this life. Love of family is a law of God, but even this love can be self-serving and used as an excuse not to serve God or do his work. Don't neglect your family but remember that your commitment to God is even more important. God should be your first priority.

In Ethiopia I was forced to be away from our lifestyle, pressures of work and home, TV, radio, the gym, my car, and yes my five year old. This, unknowingly, left me in a state where God could really mess with me. The time I spent thinking of others, playing with others, caring and crying with about and for others, I realized I lost something.....ME. Life at home, with regret, was about me, my comfort, my finances, my work, my sad story this and my sad story that, on and on and on. Stripped, right down to the spot where God likes to work, where God wants us to work. I lost the me that originally left the US. I didn't think I was carrying anything but I will tell you that "Jesus' yoke is easy."

Now I'm back and find myself looking through different lenses, clean lenses. Something feels so right about losing yourself for the sake of Jesus Christ for the benefit of others. What value can be placed on giving a child a Hot Wheels car and seeing the tears well up in his eyes as you rub his back, not being able to communicate but yet fully communicating - LOVE.

So, now I spend my days lost in Jesus instead of me. It is amazing what we think we are until God gets us to slow down enough to show us otherwise, for his word to finally sink in. A gigantic light bulb comes on and I can understand, fully (as I can), the parable of the sower. For me, my life, until this trip, has been about my comfort and tranquility in this life. How sad that must be for God to see me waste my talents.

How do we stay RAW for God to work?
How do we stay dedicated and unwavering?

I don't know but I have read that if you hide Gods' word in your heart so that you might not sin against him you will be well on your way.

I'm picking up my Bible.

Efficiency must be an American thing

2008-07-07T05:39:00.002-06:00

Ethiopian people are very loving, lots of hugs, hand shaking, talking, etc....but when it comes down to getting things done... well, much is left to be desired. It seems that people in the USA could handle a dose of caring and taking time to greet and meet each other instead of just getting right on to business but it is another thing to see people suffer because the culture moves so slowly.

It is customary to have a meeting prior to the real meeting to discuss pleasantries. Now, the first time this happened for me I was interested to see the culture differences but the second time, when it involved my wife not having a place to stay and myself leaving the country in 1.5 hrs, I was not a fan of the pleasantries.

My wife is very brave and I wish I was with her now. Lonely is how she describes her day with nobody to really talk with and running short on books to read. Yesterday she started to work with Eden on rolling over and I think she is doing well. It is nearing the end of Monday their and I hope to start to hear news about things moving along soon.

How does the Bible say it --- "count it all joy" who knows what great things God has going. Look at what God loves to do in the Bible - MIRACLES - the impossible is what He is specialized in. Refining fire is not fun but we seem to miss what is happening while God is cleansing us and taking us to a new level, of which I am ready and willing.

Thank God for this time that I get to go through with my family. I release this situation into the hands of God and I know that He will provide.

Two down fifteen to go

2008-07-05T20:48:00.002-06:00

Well, two days are down and fifteen are remaining for Nancy's return trip, hopefully with Eden. I have always appreciated what Nancy does for our family but never more than while she is gone. Most of all we miss her presence.

All is going well for her in Addis, she gets to spend all day bonding with Eden without distraction, maybe this is Gods way of forceing us to slow down. Nancy is around the kids all day so if you want to call and talk with her you can - 011251912100454. I hope to speak with her soon.

I wanted to share an experience I had with the babies while in Addis. On the third day Nancy and I went in to get Eden and found all of the babies feeding. I was compelled to help one little guy because his bottle had fallen and he was crying. This baby had to be two months old and seemed very weak. While leaning over and holding his bottle I was hit with the section of verse in the bible that says "whatever you do for the least of these you do unto me". I was staring at Jesus and feeding him. Never before have I felt so small and so indebted to what Jesus has done on the cross for us. When I finished I spent the next half hour crying, I wouldn't trade that experience for anything.

Our lives are so fast paced and selfish that I walk by Jesus all the time. I never before considered myself to be like the religious leaders of old but now I realize my life is made up of what comforts me and I walk by the opportunities to forget myself and pick up someone else.

Missing my wife and daughter

2008-07-04T01:24:00.009-06:00

I don't imagine many have had the anxious feeling when leaving your wife in a third world country.....God is good and can be trusted.

I have arrived home, not with a daughter but without a wife and daughter. Don't worry though, Nancy is in Gods hands and Eden is in hers. I wish I could have drug all of you along for what I just witnessed in Africa....no words really, just a heavy feeling of how well we have it in the USA and how much God loves the forgotten, and I do mean forgotten.

I'm a man and it is often said men don't cry, or at least very much, and I can say my heart is full with what my eyes have seen to the point that I could cry at the drop of a hat, any moment, any time, broken, seening what kids go through... sure you can read Red Letters or another book but it is nothing like seeing it.

John is a little boy who says he is six but is really eight, this is his note to me:

My mother and father died when I was a kid from AIDS. I have a sister, who has a different father with me. After our mother ided her father's relative took my sister to raise her but I had no where to go, so I went out to a street in Baherdar city. I have faced many troubles in my life. After about one years of separation (living on the street) my sister came and get me and brought me to this place (Anat - orphanage).

I just couldn't get a family unlike my friends here. But it is always my desire to come to america.

John knows how to write and read in Amaharric and English and is very bright. When you talk with him he is happy and positive. I gave him a piece of gum and a hug and he cried.....

london calling

2008-06-25T11:29:00.007-06:00

okay, we made it to london. what to do on a 9 hour layover? even though it is only 11am montana time, it is never too early for a glass of wine.

seriously, we are exhausted! i haven't slept in 24 hours, but who cares? we see eden in just a few hours.

we need continued prayer for the situation with eden's adoption. the latest news is not encouraging.

i did start reading "Dangerous Surrender" by Kay Warren on the flight over and am totally convicted already. i will post some highlights soon. for now, i will leave you with a couple photos from the trek.

check out the back of that dude's vest...

we are outta here... (long)

2008-06-22T14:04:00.009-06:00

okay, so, much has happened in the anderson/porter households since my last post. my mother has been campaigning for us to travel to Ethiopia anyway to visit our daughter and deliver some humanitarian aid to the orphanage where she is living. i did not want to do so because i couldn't bear the thought of leaving (and still can't quite bear it) eden there when all the while this is supposed to have been the week we bring her home forever.

needless to say, my mom won the battle! in my husband's own words: "sometimes it is okay to have your heart broken, nancy." duh, i am so dense sometimes. why am i so worried about protecting my own self and my already have broken heart when there is an unmet need that we can meet! i am a real piece-of-art sometimes...

so the plan goes like this: we leave on tuesday the 24th, arrive Addis Ababa at 7am on the 26th. we will return home on the 3rd of july.

we lost our previous (highly recommended) lodging accomodations and are flying by the seat of our pants and trying someplace we have never heard of. you will surely hear all the details when i return.

we will also be checking on the children of all my fellow Illien friends (some have blogs--see left) --giving hugs, kisses, taking photos and gifts. we will also be shopping with the generous monetary donations of our friends.

speaking of friends, john and ever huskey stopped by today to deliver a generous financial donation, clothing donations and a little present for baby eden (note the chandler-esque expressions i referenced in last week's post?--seriously!!):

i love this little doll. ever got it from etsy.com and it is the cutest thing!!! i cannot wait until eden can see it!

we will be bringing our laptop and trying to update the blog as much as the internet allows us to (coverage is poor in Ethiopia).

still praying for a quick resolution to the situation and for eden to come home sooner vs. later. thanks for the prayers!

indefinite crescendo

2008-06-18T19:45:00.006-06:00

indefinite:
Not clearly perceived or perceptible: blear, bleary, cloudy, dim, faint, foggy, fuzzy, hazy, indistinct, obscure, unclear, vague. Lacking precise limits: indeterminate, inexact, undetermined. Marked by lack of firm decision or committment; of questionble outcome: open, uncertain, undecided, undetermined, unresolved, unsure, vague.

our adoption has been "indefinitely postponed" and i am really struggling right now. indefinite is one of my new least favorite words. seriously! look at the definition!

we were supposed to leave in less than ONE WEEK. i will not be seeing our baby next week.

crescendo:
To build up to or reach a point of great intensity, force, or volume

my love for my daughter has been building to a crescendo increasingly over the past few months. i am trying to live out my faith so that i don't become despondent.

despondent:
without or almost without hope

God of heaven, come down....

happy father's day

2008-06-15T11:34:00.010-06:00

happy father's day everyone! today has been a great day: a little family tennis, some pool time, a bbq, and celebrating my dad's birthday as well as celebrating father's day in honor of both my dad and kirk.

of course we wish eden was here to celebrate with us. seriously!

i won the lottery in the husband department. i could not ask for a better life partner---one who is so involved in both of our lives, and one who gives sacrificially everyday to create a better day for haan and i.

so, haan wanted to prepare a little father's day tribute for kirk, however, he tends to get very camera/video shy. really. if you ever watch "friends" and have seen the episode where chandler cannot smile for a photograh, you will know where i am coming from. kirk and i always laugh about our little "chandler" and we have an archive of photos with chandler smiles and quirky expressions to prove it. he had everything he wanted to say prepared and could recite it to me beautifully, but we turned the camera on the the wiggling began. gotta love it anyway...

ethiopian crisis

2008-06-14T19:09:00.004-06:00

i promise a lighter post tomorrow, but tonight my thoughts and prayers are with all the people suffering in ethiopia. there is a huge crisis right now. it is ethiopia's worst humanitarian crisis since 2003. if you want to learn more, you can watch 3 short videos here, here, and here.

i am not okay with this. my heart breaks over what i am sure is breaking the heart of God.

thank you. thank you. thank you to those of you who have donated items and money to our humanitarian aid pacakages going over to ethiopia with us. the airline we are using has now decided to charge PER BAG, so we are going to cap off the number of bags we are bringing.

we are still accepting monetary donations and plan on buying the needed items once we arrive in country. if you need a tax donation, please consider this option.

we are still praying for a breakthrough with baby eden's adoption.

weekend of prayer

2008-06-13T20:03:00.003-06:00

we have heard nothing official yet, but there are whispers of hope that the adoption process in ethiopia may start back up sometime next week. i don't know what that means for our specific case (one of many that have been backlogged due to the problem). but nonetheless we could use prayer over the situation. i am trying to be cautiously optimistic that we may see progress in the next week or so...

please also pray for eden's health and safety during this unforeseen delay. i will be sure to let you all know the SECOND i hear of any progress that adoptions have restarted. i really could not have made it to the end of this week without your thoughts, prayers, calls, emails, and comments. thank you, thank you, thank you.

thanks for the kindness

2008-06-10T19:00:00.002-06:00

to my dear friends and family who have left comments, emailed me privately, called me and offered prayer and support during this time: THANK YOU!

please say a prayer tonight (tomorrow in ET) for progress to be made. we just want to bring our daughter home and feel she was grabbed out of our arms at the last second.

disappointment

2008-06-10T07:23:00.004-06:00

baby shower: cancelled
plane tickets: cancelled
lodging reservations: cancelled
dreams of seeing our baby in 2 weeks: shattered

that pretty much sums up my day

didn't happen

2008-06-07T12:03:00.004-06:00

well, it didn't happen yesterday.

we did not pass court. sad doesn't even begin to describe how i am feeling today. we already purchased plane tickets and have prepaid at one of our lodging places. also, i had plans for people to babysit haan while we were gone.

we are just so stunned because our agency has NEVER had anyone not pass court (before yesterday that is). nice to know we made history...

we have no idea what kind of delay this will cause and hope to know more on monday or tuesday.

i will continue to believe that God can only function for our good and for eden's good and that He is unable to function outside of what is best for all of us. He is working for our good and His glory and i know this despite how incredibly sad i am feeling at this moment.

2 weeks

2008-05-23T08:01:00.002-06:00

our court date is two weeks from today. praying for a favorable ruling!!!

why Ethiopia??

2008-05-22T18:31:00.003-06:00

lately i have been asked by several people "why Ethiopia?--why wouldn't you adopt within your own country???" well, for one thing we Did adopt within our own country 5 years ago. we have the best son in the world, but the experience was far from pleasant (as some of you know).

when we felt led to do it again, we immdiately connected with Ethiopia--it was the only country we connected with. yes, there are kids in the foster system in the U.S. (remember, we adopted one 5 years ago), but even the foster system feeds their children. most of the children will live to be at least 5 years old and have opportunities to go to school create a life for themselves.

to further understand our reasons, please read these brief articles from bbc and cnn

by the way, you can visit this site, take a FREE vocabulary test, and For each word you get right, we donate 20 grains of rice to the United Nations World Food Program. i did it, and it was quite fun!

court date

2008-05-18T18:33:00.002-06:00

we got an email saturday night to tell us we have a date for june 6th!!!!!!!!!!!!! if all goes well, we could be picking up baby eden in june!! excited doesn't even begin to describe how we feel. we are just so humbled to be able to go earlier than we originally were even hoping for.

if you want to donate to the extra suitcases (well, technically extremely large duffel bags), let me know because we want to start packing them up. we still need several items from the list (see previous post). email me if you have specific questions!!

thanks once again for all of your thoughts, prayers, positive energy, and encouraging words.

lazarus effect and (Product) Red

2008-05-14T20:01:00.005-06:00

i read about this effect in "There is No Me Without You." (did i mention i loved that book and you should read it too??). anyway, here is a little video from http://www.joinred.com/

this is why each of us in our family has multiple (PRODUCT) Red shirts.
i think eden has the most (last tally was about 15).
if you don't already buy (PRODUCT) Red items, check 'em out. we have been doing it for years--long before we even thought of adopting. it is one easy way for you to be a part of eliminating AIDS in Africa!

we are still waiting to hear about a court date. there is no power in Addis on Thursdays so we hope to hear on friday. if you think of it, we would love a prayer.

happy mother's day

2008-05-11T14:03:00.003-06:00

today i received the best mother's day present ever!!! eden is all clear! she got her clearance papers from the ministry and we are applying for a court date this week.

the tentative timeline goes something like this: open a court file (takes 4-5 days), court date is usually 30 days after the court file was openend, court issues ruling, staff acquires birth certificate and passport, all documents presented to US Embassy, we appear for Embassy appointment (historically 3 weeks after court ruling).

we were not expecting her clearance papers until at least may 30th so this is an unexpected and very welcome gift!

fields of the fatherless--part one (long)

2008-05-10T14:23:00.007-06:00

the other night i read "fields of the fatherless" by c.thomas davis.
once again, another great read.

he talks about God's heart for orphans and how if we really "want to experience God we must go where He is-in the fields of the fatherless." kirk and i truly believe this. even though this experience has not been easy for us in the least, it has been very joyful. this is a kind of deeper joy that we discovered when we decided to sacrifice our wants and desires for God's desires. He desires to take care of the poor and outcast. when we decided to partner with Him in doing this, we began to experience the pleasure of God. I really could almost hear Him laughing (see very first post).

of course, we were walking with God before we decided to adopt and i am not suggesting that adoption is tied to our salvation or anything remotely close, but i am saying, we were not experiencing the full extent of God's joy. we were not fulfilling a large chunk of the gospel. the Bible mentions caring for orphans, widows and strangers more than sixty gimes. it seems like God is pretty concerned about them and he gave us the responsibility to care for the defenseless.
i had lost sight of what God cares about the most.

there are more than 70 MILLION orphans in the world. at least 35,000 children under the age of 5 die every day from malnutrition or starvation. 1.5 million children are currently infected with AIDS. did you know that evangelical christians are less likely than non-christians to give money and assistance to AIDS-related causes? i didn't. but i do now.

i will be the first one to admit that i rather liked the safe border i had built around my life (see first post again). kirk was really the one to embrace God's plan and say yes to it first. i took a little time (a couple of years) to come around. i am so glad i won't have to wonder what could have been. we are living His plan firsthand.

i believe that adoption holds a very dear place in God's heart. it is (and has since the beginning of time been) God's plan. it is a transaction of the heart, if you will, that defies all borders and boundaries. we are united by love with eden even now. God knew before the world even began that eden would be born to be a part of our family. He wrote the words on kirk's heart. they longed to be spoken and needed to be lived out. God wrote the script for this entire process. i personally had every possible reason under the sun why we shouldn't (or couldn't do this). it took a while to surrender.

i am going to have to continue this post another day. i thank you for bearing with me (if you did). i will leave you with a quote from the book:
"the sure way to deprive the poor of the justice due them is to do nothing."

red letters campaign

2008-05-05T16:08:00.003-06:00

i am totally excited for the launch of the red letters campaign! it officially launched today. most of you have heard me rave about how much i loved the book "red letters-living a faith that bleeds" and some of you even read it for yourselves. this is what the red letters campaign website has to say about it's mission:

We at the Red Letters Campaign (RLC) believe that YOU have the power to reduce extreme poverty, fight preventable disease and connect orphans with loving families. Our mission is to provide you the tools and a network of partners and like-minded people that enable you to be an active part of the solution - the way you want to participate.

RLC is a different kind of non-profit designed to support you in your passions - not the other way around. Whether your passion focuses on the HIV epidemic in Africa, providing safe drinking water to Central America or finding homes for children without families in India, we can connect you to people and resources that help you make a difference in the way that you desire.

Whether you’ve just recently become aware of the challenges faced by the orphaned, widowed and extreme poor or have already rolled up your sleeves and joined the front line, the Red Letters Campaign will connect you with the people and resources you need to turn passion into action.