another one to watch...

The Global Orphan Project from The Global Orphan Project on Vimeo.

magazine article

so i forgot to mention this back in may which was when it was published. (kind of busy at the time), but our local "simply family" magazine did a little mother's day feature on the kids and i.

here is a link if you want to read it. click on the arrow to page 8....

gotcha confessional

one year ago today, we met our ethiopian sweet potatoe for the first time. if you remember the story (see posts from last june) this was to be a 10 day visit that turned into a 7 week marathon for me.... (so worth it in in the end).

this is the day we met our baby (remember the diagnosis"failure to thrive?") who wouldn't sit, roll, make eye contact, smile, or bear any weight--the one who had given up on life! God has been so gracious to her and to us by allowing us to call her our own. this journey has been so full of heartache, was very often excruciating, overwhelming. and terribly uncomfortable at times, but i can't imagine our life without her which is ironic because man, was i ever full of excuses as to WHY we could NOT do this. thinking about that day brought me back to why we decided to adopt in the first place....

i have had lots of conversations about adoption lately…. what saddens me the most are the EXCUSES I hear from people (and i continue to include MYSELF in this category) about WHY it is not possible for them to adopt (or help in any way):
"well, we couldn't afford all the sports and lessons and activites for all the kids"
"we won't have enough money for college for all of our kids"
"we wouldn't have an emergency fund or savings account anymore"
"we couldn't buy our dream house or dream car or dream vacation"
"i don't have enough time for the kids i have--or i don't have time for myself"

--i KNOW these excuses because i have used them (and still try to get away with using them at times)!!!!
i KNOW what is like to try to make an ethiopian orphan perfectly fit into your life--it DOESN'T work like that!
it isn't perfect! we need to stop coming up with the perfect criteria prior to letting God control our lives. again, i am guilty! i had my own plans about my life/our life, and this wasn't in them. i certainly invisioned that we would have a savings account. i envisioned a bigger, nicer home and newer cars, and actually taking a vacation now and then. i envisioned lots of things, but God had something BIGGER, NICER, AND BETTER for me although it doesn't always seem that way to me and i have to be REMINDED of it occasionally (thanks, mom).

i still at times wish i could fill my life up with other stuff so i wouldn't have to think about the problems in sub-saharan africa, but God won't let me!

Carolyn had a great post recently where she questioned the “extra-curricular” activites that we fill our lives (and childrens’ lives with). They are just that: EXTRA (not necessary). Listen up! I am GUILTY as charged. I try to cram so much junk into every day.

Here is Carolyn’s take:

We can sleep at night, Thank God for a great day... because we made it to our MOPS meeting and got junior to all of his extra curricular activities...baked cookies, finished laundry...scrapbooked the birthday party that took 6 months to plan...went to bible study...trying to be "green"....went to church... etc...etc...etc...Looks great doesn't it??? YET...our Christian sisters are dying...BEGGING us in prayer and tears to take care of their babies they will inevitably leave behind after they endure excruciating deaths....the majority go UNHEARD....."SORRY sisters...our plates are TOO FULL.... Sorry kids...YOU are just not a fit for us...You know...financially, you couldn't have your own room,...uuum..soccer practice...here in the US, appearance is everything..you don't quite fit in our "SCRAPBOOK", plus you may have AIDS, I can't go there...no time for whatever you may require.....OUR PLATES are too full........SO FULL...that the pure religion...orphans and widows are scraped off the plates to fall to the floor...I don't know what that means in everyone elses house, but in mine...the dog eats what falls to the floor......Is that what we have done to THE PURE AND FAULTLESS RELIGION?...to widows and children???? Does that at all resemble your days? Just something to think about.

yes, it is going to require sacrifice.
no, it is not super easy, effortless, or painless
no, it is not free--it comes at a cost. that is the thing about living sacrificially....
no, it is not always pretty (AIDS and orphans sometimes aren’t always that pretty). no, this life is not your own. why do we expend so much time, energy, and money convincing ourselves that it is?

thanks for listening to me unleash! here a couple photos from our first day together.


with nana

mommy and papa

a couple things you NEED to know

okay, so i am gradually getting back into the swing of things. of course you all know that i don't totally ever want to get fully into the swing of things--don't want to be content.... i am so getting more comfortable being uncomfortable! i actually long for the discomfort and discontent these days. my trip was remarkable in that i got to see the children again, was able to make some precious new friends (you KNOW who you are).

i have lots of things that have been keeping me busy--mostly all ethiopia related (i will give you details when i have them).

my buddy carolyn and i have some cool ideas in the works too, so if you get a chance, make a donation to project hopeful!

my last couple of plugs are these:

several months ago, i preordered "scared" from amazon, and it was waiting for me when i returned from ET! you must drop what you are doing, go get this book, and read it!

also waiting for me when i got back was this bracelet.

order one here. for each bracelet you buy, we give a school uniform to an orphan or vulnerable child so they can go to school...

good stuff!

i will have an E update soon as my potato is now 17 months old! (it has been almost a year since we first met her). love her to pieces!

i'm baaaack....

okay, so i returned last friday--exactly one week earlier than i originally planned.

i was gone for 3 weeks and they were glorious! truly another amazing trip to ET....

my kids (remember how freaked out i was about leaving them and all the people that told me i was making a mistake) did not miss a beat! they did beautifully! E gave me the cold shoulder for about 5 minutes and has been a doll ever since. haan has been super sweet.

needless to say, i have NO regrets about staying that long! the trip was fruitful, interesting, and i cannot wait to go back!

here is a link to my photos (you don't have to have facebook to see them)! more stories to come...

"it is poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish" Mother Theresa

4 days...

have i mentioned how much i am going to miss my babies? seriously! we leave at 7am on saturday morning and the days are just flying by. i want to press the "pause" button, if you know what i mean. at the same time, i am so anxious to return to ethiopia and start working on this project. it is gonna be amazing! i think i have kirk pretty well taken care of. i made a dinner for every night that i am gone (27 days total) and froze them (thanks, traci for the freezer space), have a great lady coming to clean once per week (a luxury), someone to mow, and lots of babysitting line up. kirk will be taking almost 2 of the weeks off work so that will help too!

here are some little treasures from the past couple of weeks. eden turned 16 months old last week and is talking up a storm--putting 2 words together and vocabularay that doesn't end. i have the habit of saying "seriously" ALOT and guess what sweet potato has been saying? not to mention, when you ask her what her name is, she has the sweetest voice that says "eden." she is SERIOUSLY adorable!! we are in love!
one of these days i am going to take a video of her talking...
my precious boy has been busy almost every night with both tee-ball and soccer.

video, tee, super cool jewelry

i know some of you have heard me talk about my friend, Carolyn .

i had the priviledge of staying at the same guest house with her and her daughter for a couple weeks in ET last summer. i can testify firsthand to the transformation that has taken place in her daughter, Selah. she was in Stage IV AIDS when we were at the guest house. she is now home, with Carolyn and under the care of spectacular doctors and is NOT the same girl!

please take 3 minutes and watch this

Carolyn runs Project Hopeful (which you also have heard my talk about but it needs repeating). even 5 dollars will help. PLUS, you NEED to check out their super cool new tees and jewelry.

i know i have posted these photos before as well, but just love them. they are of carolyn's daughter with my sweet potato last summer....
really, people we need to ACT. we need to support these kids--they truly are "the least of these"--the "untouchables". who else is going to do it, if you don't? just buy a tee shirt, some jewelry, make a cash donation--these kids have no other hope!!! what say you?

world AIDS orphans day

hey everybody! tomorrow is world AIDS orphan day! check out the link.

here is what YOU can do:

-first, read this:

"World AIDS Orphans Day is a grassroots campaign to draw attention to and advocate on behalf of the millions of children orphaned by AIDS.

Here are some of the staggering facts. Please read them... please really stop and think a minute about these statistics.

There are over 15 million children orphaned by AIDS living around the world RIGHT NOW. 15 million is the equivalent to the number of all of the people living in New York, Paris, and Bangkok combined. That is an awful lot of children.

Well over 12 million AIDS orphans live in Sub-Saharan Africa, alone.

Experts believe that millions more orphans remain unaccounted for in India, China and Russia.
At least 10 million more children will be orphans by AIDS by 2010.

Do you know how many TOTAL global confirmed cases of the swine flu there have been? As of today (May 6), there have been 1,516 cases. Do you know how many people, world wide, have died of the swine flu as of today?? 31. And look at all the hype... all the action... all the caring.
Do you know how many people around the world DIED of HIV/AIDS in 2007? An estimated TWO MILLION people. That is over 5,400 people a day, dieing of HIV/AIDS. It has been estimated that now, in 2009, 6,500 people will die every day from AIDS, and an estimated 6,000 of those people will leave behind children when they die.

So today, another 6,000 children will be added to the already 15 million children world wide who have been orphaned by the HIV/AIDS crisis.

The result of being orphaned by AIDS is heart-breaking for these children. From the World AIDS Orphans Day website:
In addition to the trauma of losing a parent, orphans are often subject to discrimination and are less likely to receive healthcare, education and other needed services.
In HIV affected households lacking community support, food consumption can drop by 40% putting children at risk to hunger, malnutrition and stunting.
Impoverished and often without support to educate and protect them, orphans and vulnerable children face increased risk of HIV infection. (And there are already an estimated 2 million children currently living with HIV).
Orphans are often easy prey to many forms of exploitation: forced labor, prostitution and child soldiering.
In the United States, if a child loses a parent to accident or illness, it is considered a terrible tragedy. Such stories are covered by the media, communities mourn and show their support, etc. In Sub-Saharan Africa, parents dieing is a normal part of life. It is still a terrible tragedy for those children, but it happens so often that no one else really pays any attention.
And do you know what makes this really, truly horrible? Do you know what makes my gut twist and my heart ache? HIV IS COMPLETELY TREATABLE.
If a person contracts HIV in the United States or another country where there is treatment readily available, they have an excellent long term prognosis. Most HIV+ people receiving treatment now have close to normal life expectancies and can live in good overall health. With treatment, HIV+ children can be healthy and happy. They can go to school, grow up, go to college, have (healthy!) children, and live long enough to raise them and beyond. Without treatment, an estimated 50% of HIV+ children will die before the hit their second birthday. HIV does not have to be a death sentence, and yet for thousands of people every day, it is, because the world doesn't care enough to really do something about it.
Can you imagine for one minute if some terrible disease struck the United States (or whatever country you live in) and was killing thousands and orphaning thousands every day? Can you imagine if another country had treatment that could lead to good health and a long life, but it just was too expensive or too difficult or too much trouble to get that medicine to us? We wouldn't stand for it.

So why do we stand for it now?

The numbers are staggering, and so is the need for action. Children are the future of our world, and I shudder to think about what this world will be like with so many millions of children growing up without the love and security of a family... and way too often growing up without adequate food, education and medical care. Where does that leave all of us?

Rich Stearns, President of World Vision, US said,
"I believe that this could very well be looked back on as the sin of our generation. I look at my parents and ask, where were they during the civil rights movement? I look at my grandparents and ask, what were they doing when the holocaust in Europe was occurring with regard to the Jews, and why didn't they speak up? And when we think of our great, great, great-grandparents, we think how could they have sat by and allowed slavery to exist? And I believe that our children and their children, 40 or 50 years from now, are going to ask me, what did you do while 40 million children became orphans in Africa?"
I know that it feels like the problem is way too big for us to really do anything to make a difference, but I know with all my heart that touching the life of just one, just ONE, child can truly make a difference. And if everyone touched the life of just one child, we could reach them all. "

- Get educated. One of the biggest roadblocks in getting people to care and take action is the stigma surrounding HIV/AIDS. This is not a disease that only strikes those who "deserve it" (yes, that is really how some people think!). This is a disease that strikes men, women and children... it strikes heterosexuals and homosexuals, it strikes people of all races and social classes and it strikes people in all countries. HIV/AIDS is a HUMAN problem.
Fear is another big roadblock. HIV can not be transmitted in any casual way, and people that are HIV+ are not a threat to those around them. HIV can only be transmitted through sexual contact, birth, breastfeeding and blood to blood contact (such as sharing needles).

- Consider adopting. Adoption is only an option for a tiny percentage of the 15 million AIDS orphans around the world and it is certainly not the solution to the AIDS crisis or the orphan crisis, but for the tiny percentage of children who do get adopted, it changes their world and their future dramatically (and for the adoptive parents, it is equally amazing). There are agencies and programs placing healthy and special needs orphans from all over the world with new families.

- Support Project HOPEFUL, whose mission is to encourage, educate and enable parents adopting children with HIV/AIDS. plus it is run by my super cool friend Carolyn!!!!!!

tiny diva

well now the countdown is at 15 days. man, am i going to miss my babies....

E finally had her 15 month check up. she is in the 12th percentile for weight and 75th for height.

the doctor asked us "does she have at least 5 words?" ummm, how is 75? seriously, she is a talker--even putting 2 words together. "bye bye Haan" her vocabulary is off the charts so we are quite proud of our verbose diva.

speaking of diva behaviour, it now seems as though we are going to see an OT for feeding issues (hence only the 12th percentile for weight). i blogged about these in a previous post and things only seem to be getting worse in that area.... in any regard, the sweet thing is still totally hilarious and the life of the party. her big brother is a gem too....

A hundred years from now, it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove...but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child.

- Forest Witcraft

18 days

that is how many days till i leave for ethiopia....

i am getting super excited and super sad at the same time. i know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is what i am supposed to be doing, yet it doesn't make it any easier to be leaving my precious kiddos and hubby (along with friends and my comfort zone) at home.

we have 2 awesome teams coming with us! as you all know by now, i am staying for both teams for a grand total of 27 days. we have lots of exciting projects we will be working on in a rural orphanage (see older posts for a video/pics of the orphanage we are working at).

fortunately, i have the world's best husband (see older post) who has the vision to see past the short term discomfort of having me gone for almost a month. he can see the ripple effect that our one adoption has had. i remember telling my mom, right after we decided to adopt from ET "it just feels like a drop in the bucket when kids are dying everyday." she was so wise and went on to tell me that this will definitely change the world for Eden but that she really felt like God was going to use this one drop for something bigger than ourselves.

i have to give props to our church for really grasping the need and showing compassion to these kids!

you know what a franics chan fan i am, right????

i saw this on a blog a while back and shared it with the teams going to Ethiopia but thought i should also share it here: it really convicted, ruined, and wrecked me.

i know that i really NEED to go back to ethiopia! not because the orphans need ME or my church but because some days i feel myself losing perspective. i have been wanting things, trying to convince myself i NEED stuff or DESERVE something, dreaming of a bigger, nicer house, or believing that we NEED to have more money in savings.....

Question: Shouldn't you put money aside in case of emergency?

Answer: Are you saying what's happening in Africa ISN'T an emergency?

-Francis Chan

i covet your prayers as i try to prepare myself and our family for this trip!

promise to post some new E pics next post!!

amazing

15 month update

our baby turned 15 months old last week! we have her check up this week so we'll see what the good doctor has to say about her :) we have had a fun couple of weeks with haan starting soccer and tee ball, easter, and haan's first ski lesson! i'll spare you all the details and let you enjoy the pics!

"Compassion brings us to a stop, and for a moment we rise above ourselves. "
- Mason Cooley

needing some help...

lately i/we have been struggling with some issues.

some of these are just too personal for me to post on the blog right now.

so i will get your opinions on my smaller/lighter issues.

issue number one: E is only 14 months old and is throwing MAJOR temper tantrums. really shocking ones. haan didn't really even throw one until he was three so i am unequiped as to what to do about such a small person throwing a fit. it basically happens whenever she doesn't get something she wants. example: she is being held. i put her down to pursue other activites and tantrum ensues. she wants back "up". "baby more up" to be specific. what to do? totally ignore it (it will continue for at least 20 minutes or more), move her to another room, tell her to get a grip, ?????, (this is the part where you leave me a comment with how to handle temper tantrums is a tiny person)

issue two: she has also become (over the past 1-2 months) an extremely picky eater. things were going well until about 12 or 13 months and now the list of acceptable foods has dwindled down to a precious few items: peanut butter, honey, toast, bananas, apples, dry cereal, sometimes oatmeal, macaroni and cheese, poptarts (really they are organic toaster strudels), sometimes yogurt, and mandarin oranges. that is it. notice there is NOT ONE vegetable on that list? with my son, i would have just kept presenting foods and wouldn't care if he chose to eat them or not figuring he would eat when he was hungry. with E, she is so small to begin with that i feel like i shouldn't make her miss meals.... i haven't spoken to her pediatrician about this because we don't go see her until april 15th (this is where i need your help from those of you who have brought home kiddos) sometimes if i even present food that is not on the above list, she launches into "issue number one"

issue three: her hair is starting to get out of hand. i haven't dealt with it until now because it was shaved when last summer and has taken this long to become an issue. i have read so many different things about what to do/apply to the hair that i am confused. let me tell you what i am currently doing (which is bascially nothing) and see if you can help. right now, we are washing her hair once a week (i am just using some random organic shampoo so don't know if i need something different?). every night i put baby oil in her hair and comb it through. there. that's what i do. but it is still totally dry, really curly, and in the back it is getting very matted from rubbing on the car seat and in her crib while she sleeps. i have read about "locking" the hair but have no idea what that is or how to do it or what to do if i just want it to be curly but not snarled? i need some advice--something simple. keep in mind i don't even comb my own hair (yes i am serious).

issue four: some of you know that i am leaving in may for an entire month in ethioipia. i am co-leading a missions team to rural ethiopia to work in an orphanage. yes, i am leaving my kids for an entire month. i originally was only going to go for 2 weeks, but my husband (see above post) insisted that i stay the entire month. i can't believe he agreed to that especially after last summer's extended 7 week stay in ethiopia (see archives from last july) i have alot of different emotions pertaining to this one. some of you will think i am nuts for leaving E after only having her home for 9 months. and i get that. i am really hoping that she doesn't forget me. is that possible? could she forget me if she doesn't see me or hear me for 4 straight weeks? does anyone know? i am not as concerned about haan as he is 6 years old and already survived without me for 7 weeks last summer. plus he will be in school all day for 2 of the 4 weeks. but E?

what say you?

ode de kirk

holla! kirk's birthday is today!!

he is the ripe ol' age of 35 (yes i married a younger man).

anyway, have i ever told you that kirk rocks? really, he does.

i have the single best husband (for me) that i could possibly have. really. we met 12 years ago after being introduced by a mutual friend. we weren't so into each other at first (understatement), but with some major prodding by said mutual friend, we eventually agreed to go on a "date" (mutual friend came too)... we gradually realized we really enjoyed each other, began officially dating and became engaged about 7 months later.

six months after that we were married. before our engagement, we briefly broke up over the issue of children. i told him that if he for sure wanted kids, then i was not the woman for him. so he said "thanks for telling me," and we broke up (for 2 days). he eventually called back and told me children didn't matter that much and he just wanted to be with me..... (awwww)

anyway, we did get married, and were married for 5 years before we decided to adopt our son. (obviously God did a number on my heart to bring me to the point where i wanted kids--but only ONE kid). adoption was always (and still is) PLAN A for us (we never tried to have biological kids and kirk had "the surgery"). for the next couple of years after we adopted our cutie pie son, kirk continued to campaign for a "little girl." he realllllly wanted a baby girl.

i, however, not-so-much.....

he won.

or should i say God won (again)?

in reality, I won!

i won 12 years ago when i met him, 11 years ago when i married him, 6 years ago when he became a father for the first time, and almost a year ago when we got "his little girl"

he is such a great dad--totally hands on and INVOLVED. involved with ALL of it. not a sit-on-the-couch-and-watch-tv-when-he-gets-home-from-work dad. the minute he walks through the door, he is PRESENT. he is a partner to me. he held down the fort while i was gone all last summer (see archives from last summer) and did a remarkable job. he is holding down the fort (with 2 kids this time) while i leave again for ethiopia in may (it was HIS IDEA that i stay for 4 weeks insead of just 2). he is an example to me of what it is like to lay your life down and serve your family.

i couldn't ask for more.

roll call...

ok, so i am following in the footsteps of some of my fellow bloggers and taking a roll call....
if you read this, lurk, or are even remotely interested in this blog, let me know. either leave me a comment or click on "follow" to the left. then i can add your blog (if you have one) to my blog list below as well! alright? let's be friends!!!


"History will judge us on how we respond to the AIDS emergency in Africa....whether we stood around with watering cans and watched while a whole continent burst into flames....or not."
Bono